


Worth it

by buffylover



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Derek Hale is Bad at Feelings, Knotting, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2018-07-10 16:50:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 47,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6996523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buffylover/pseuds/buffylover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles is fed up with Derek always putting the pack first. So he decides to make some changes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [How I Long For Yesterday](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3344816) by [sweetbutterbliss](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetbutterbliss/pseuds/sweetbutterbliss). 



> This was inspired by How I long for Yesterday, I reread it for the 100th time and was watching a marathon of House Hunters and had the idea of Stiles buying his perfect house.

Is it worth it?

 

Stiles stared at his phone while mumbling Derek's text to him out load. “Sorry I can't make it. Pack business. Sorry. Love you.” He responded with a generic “it's fine. Do what you need to. Let me know if you need me to help. Love you too.” He knew Derek wouldn't respond and if he did need help that he wouldn’t be asking Stiles for it. His mate hadn't come him for help in years. He hadn't even been in a pack meeting in months, and that had been when he got off work early. Scott hadn't hung out with him alone in a while either. It had started while he was away for college. Everyone else in the pack had stayed closed. He had got to Portland State University. Stile had loved it. 

He smiled as he saw the approaching waitress with his food. He hadn't waiting for Derek to get there to order. Truthfully Derek only made about a fourth of their dates. He always had good excuses so it wasn't like Stiles could actually be that angry. And as it became habit, Stiles became less angry each time. It became a habit to have Derek cancel dates with him. He got used to eating alone. 

He looked around his favorite bar. It was perfect. A great mix between people starting the night and grabbing a drink before heading home from work. He ended up eating here way too much. It was just a couple blocks from his office. And he got to walk through a park he helped plan and finance and build. It was gratifying to get to see his hard work. As the waitress put his food down he smiled and thanked her. She patted him on the shoulder as she left. She was one of his favorites. 

He took out his tablet and started returning emails for work. He had worked his ass off and gotten a masters in Urban Planning and now he worked for the city manager. He worked with groups within the city to make everything run smoothly. And he was really really good at it. He was surprised at how good he was at it. Growing up he had always felt less then his friends, with them being supernatural creatures with badass skills. He ate his dinner while finishing some research for a grant proposal for an urban renewal program. He had already done three and each time got more funds for the city. He smiled as he sent the last email of his night when a strange voice broke his concentration. 

“Ahh, Mr Stilinski?” He looks at the oddly familiar man in front of him.

“Do I know you?” He can't place the guy. 

The guy smiles at him. Stiles takes a minute to actually look at the man. They're about the same age, mid twenties. He's taller then Stiles but thicker. There is a hint of muscles under his button down shirt. Stiles takes him all in. He's strong but doesn't carry himself like someone who can fight. Years of helping the pack had given him some insights into that type of tells. He's also devistatingly handsome. Stiles is annoyed at how good looking the man is. “I'm the new IT guy at your office, Matt.”

“Oh yeah, I remember the email about that. Sorry, you can call me Stiles.” He holds his hand out and fights a blush as Matt shakes his hand, it's firm and warm.

Matt actually blushes. “Stiles. I hate to ask this, but can I sit with you? There aren't anymore tables in the bar area.”

Stiles looks around and realizes that while he had been working and eating the place had filled up. “Ah, sure. Sit down.”

He motions and Matt sits. “I didn't realize it would be this busy. A couple people at the office said this was a good place to grab a burger.”

Stiles nods. “Yeah. It's one of my favorites. I'm a little ashamed about how much I come here.”

Matt laughs with him. “Don't be. I'm currently staying at a friend of my family's. I can't eat there without them grilling me about everything and telling my parents. So I have a feeling I'm going to be well acquainted with all the restaurants in town.”

Stiles breaks into a huge grin at Matt's words. They exchange more small talk while waiting for Matt's food. Stiles orders another beer and let's his curiosity get to him while chatting with this handsome man. “So where are you from?”

“I grew up in Seattle but went to school back east at NYU.” Matt leans in and Stiles gets a little vibe that this might be a first date. “After school I moved home for a while but when I got this job offer I thought 'why not'. It's a big change but I like it. So I have to ask, why are you eating alone on a Friday night?”

Stiles flushes a bit. “Well, I was supposed to have dinner with my boyfriend, but he stood me up.” Matt makes a sympathetic face at Stiles' words. “So, that's my story.”

They continue talking over a couple more rounds until Stiles knows about his hobbies: hiking, camping, comics. They ended up in a DC vs Marvel debate that lasted until Stiles' tablet dings with an email. He glances down and smiles. “Hey, you have any plans for the rest of the night?”

Matt smiles and says “None at all. I'm all yours.”

Stiles tries to not let that make him smile even bigger. “Well, I just got an email a realtor/developer group that is showing some amazing lofts tonight. Want to go see them? You'll get to see what I helped do.”

Matt nods his head and agrees. They pay their bills and start to walk from the restaurant. Stiles takes them through the park. Matt looks at him with an odd expression. “So what do you actually do? I'm not sure I really know what a city manager does.”

Stiles laughs. “Well, I'm not a city manager but I do work with him. My job is to basically work with city organizations, business groups, charities, government groups, every aspect of the city to bring more resources and prosperity. It's kinda awesome. I actually worked with three charities and multiple groups to make this park. We got a grant. Helped the homeless population that was here get services. Brought in local workers. After a year all the other shops and restaurants followed.”

Matt gives him a soft smile. “You sound proud. It's nice to feel like you accomplished something.”

Stiles blushes and they keep walking a couple more blocks into an section of town that he has started working on in an urban revitalization grant. It had turned a bunch of older building into new lofts with a wide range of prices. Stiles was happy to have gotten this project done. It brought new life to an area that was dangerous and run down. They chat more as they get to the main building. Lots of late twenties and early thirty year old's are heading in. They head up to the open house. There is trendy music playing and the loft is staged with modern furniture. He takes a minute to really appreciate the loft. It has huge open space with light brown wood floors and kitchen with light stone counter tops. It reminds him of Derek's loft in high school but fixed up. He smiles at the memory of Derek's old loft. He missed it. He loves Derek but the man remade his childhood home. Stiles had made a comment about updating it and Derek had bit his head off. He wasn't allowed anymore input ideas for the rebuild after that. He just got used to living in smaller rooms and an outdated kitchen. He glanced into the kitchen and saw stainless steel appliances. He didn't mind the white ones at the house but he did like how the stainless steel ones looked. 

“Stiles!” A voice cuts through the loft. A beautiful blond women walked confidently over to him. 

“Emily. It's good to see you.” He opens her arms and she leans in for a hug. 

“And who is this handsome man? Do I finally get to meet the elusive Derek?” She laughs and leaves a hand on his forearm. He fights the urge to move closer. He hasn't gotten any pack cuddles in a very long time. 

“Actually, I'm Matt. I just started working with Stiles this week. He was kind enough to let me highjack his night since I don't know anyone yet.” Matt holds his hand out to Emily and she gives him an appraising look. 

“It's nice to meet you, Matt. So are you in Urban Planning like Stiles?” She moves away from Stiles and stays just out of Matt's personal space a little closer then most would stand but he knew Emily was single and looking for a boyfriend. 

Matt blushes and leans a little back. “No, I'm in IT. Just a computer geek.”

Matt laughs at his comment and she smiles at him. “Oh that's great. I'm hopeless with computers which is why I became a real estate agent. It's mostly talking with people.”

They all laugh and Stiles glances around. “This place looks amazing. How many units are done?”

She makes a surprised face for a second then turns professional. “There are eighteen units done so far. Depending on the materials they range from $190,000 to the top two floors with high end finishes at $320,000. The Home owners association fees are only $325 a month but they cover electricity, water, garbage, and building wide wi-fi. It also includes a neighborhood patrolman from a private security firm. As you know Stiles, it was your idea.”

He smiles at her comment. It had been his idea. It increased safety and took some pressure off the police department. “And this unit, how much would this one go for?”

Matt is now giving him an odd look. Emily continues doing her real estate agent voice. “Well, this is a two bedroom two bath with quartz counter tops, which were manufactured here in Beacon Hills, which you also know about Stiles, hardwood floors and the stainless steel kitchen. This one is going for $210,000.”

Stiles hmm's appreciatively. He did bring in the company that manufactured the quartz, it had made almost twenty full time jobs for the locals. With his salary this would be easy to afford. He'd still get to put money way each month for his retirement. He almost shakes himself realizing that he's actually thinking about living in a place like this. He turns and smiles at Matt. “It looks like a great place.”

Matt agrees and Emily motions from them to look around. “Come find me if you have any questions but look around. Have a beer and relax.”

They walk over to a dining table with two bins with ice and beer. They each take one and start to walk around. Matt breaks the tension. “So I thought you lived with your boyfriend?” 

“I do, it's just nice thinking about having a house with stuff I planned. His family's house burned down when he was in high school and he basically rebuilt the original house without really any input from me.” He tells Matt. They move to the kitchen and he runs his hand over the island that opens up to the dining room area and the living room. “When I cook, I'm cut off from everyone else and it's annoying. I feel like the party goes on and I don't get to be a part of it.”

Not that he had had many parties. He usually stumbled upon pack nights when he got home. The less he was invited to pack events the less comfortable he felt with them so he exiled himself to the kitchen a lot. If the kitchen was open to the living room or dining room he could do that and and least feel he was a little bit involved with the pack. He was not a good Alpha's mate. He blamed Derek. When he moved back to Beacon Hills Derek had slowly phased him out of all the pack activities. He came to the shocking realization that while Derek might love him, he wasn't an active partnership with the man three months ago. He had come home early from a trip out of town to find more then the usual cars at his house. He had busted his ass to finish and get back to spend more time with Derek only to find the pack in negotiations with another pack. The foreign Alpha had been a beautiful leggy blond who acted shocked that Derek had a mate. She had done passive aggressive comments all night until she left after scent marking Derek while grinning like a bitch at Stiles. Derek had apologized that night for not shutting her up but he didn't want to offend a foreign pack. A week later Stiles learned from Deaton that the other pack wasn't bigger or more dangerous then their back had been in high school. There had been no valid reason not to stand up to her. That was when Stiles started working sixty hour work weeks. 

He heard Matt clear his throat. “Oh god, sorry. Lost in some thoughts. It's been a long day.”

Matt smiles gently and they continue to walk around the loft. They talk about their colleges and what they like about their work. They don't talk about anything serious and Stiles wants to hug the man because really doesn't want to think about anything too serious again tonight. Cause that would lead to a deep hard look at his relationship and he really doesn't want to do that tonight. They finish the night with exchanging numbers and promises to grab a beer some night after work. 

He drives home and plans his work tomorrow than smiles as he realizes it's Friday and he can sleep in tomorrow. Maybe he'll stay home all day with Derek. Really work on fixing them cause the thought of not being with Derek makes the pit drop out of his stomach. He drives the rest of the way planning on things they can do tomorrow together. Derek had mentioned that his mom use to have a garden in the front of the house. They could work on that, maybe go get some plants that Derek would like. He knew it would be worth it to work at fixing them. 

Parking next to Derek's car he glances at the rest of the packs cars and is happy they left a spot for him. He grabs his bag and heads into the house. Walking into the front hall he can hear a movie playing in the living room and the place smells like pizza. He sighs at the signs of another pack night he wasn't invited to and was actually stood up for. Fuck his life. He heads back to say hi to the pack. Turning a corner into the living room he sees the pack laying all over the furniture. He aches a little to be in the middle of it like he used to be. Derek is laying on the couch with Erica sitting on his legs and Issac's head is sitting on the floor with his head on Derek's stomach. They all look like they fit together. A happy family. Derek gives him a guilty look. “Hey Stiles, sorry I missed dinner. There was a meeting.”

“Apparently. How was it? Any big baddies I should be worried about?” He jokingly asks since he knows none of them would actually tell him. 

Jackson decides to pour salt in his wounds. “Like you could do anything about it even if there was, Stilinski.”

Everyone giggles a little and Stiles doesn't bother to look at Scott. He hasn't expected Scott to stand up for him in years. But Derek should, he looks at Derek and his mate is giving him a passive face and then a shrug. He is done. Derek decides to move on. “How was work and the rest of your night? You're home kinda late.”

“Work was good. I got a lot done at dinner. Ended up having dinner with a new guy from work and then we went to one of the buildings I signed off on for renovations. It was pretty awesome. I like seeing my work when it's almost finished.” He lets of the excitement from his work into his voice. 

Jackson again decides to say something. “Yeah, like you're job is actually important. You work for a small city.”

He keeps his eyes on Derek and the man doesn't do a fucking thing, he just shrugs again. Stiles actually thinks he sees red for a second. “Jackson, you're a paralegal at your daddy's law office because you flunked out of your first year of law school. So don't talk down to me at my own fucking house.”

Everyone goes silent except Jackson. “It's not your house, it's Derek's.”

No one, not even Derek, contradicts him. 

“Fuck it, I'm going to bed.” He turns and goes upstairs. 

 

He's showered and climbing into bed when Derek comes into the room. “Did you yell at Jackson because I canceled dinner?”

“No Derek, I yelled at Jackson because he was a dick to me in my house. Or your house since you didn't actually disagree with him.” He mutters and settles into bed. He's had a long week. He rolls over and looks at the wall.

“Of course it's your house. But I want the pack to feel comfortable when they're here. They don't need their Alpha's mate attacking them when they're here.” Derek sounds like Stiles is the asshole. 

He rolls back. “He was insulting me. I have a right to defend myself in my own house, Derek. Especially when no one else there was.” 

He doesn't want to smile at Derek's sad face but he's human. He's just happy to get a reaction. “I don't have to defend you because there is nothing wrong. Jackson is an ass, you know that. You're my mate Stiles. You're the most important to me.”

“Well, it would be nice if you treated me like that in front of anyone, ever.” He sighs. “I had already ordered dinner when you canceled because I already knew you weren't showing up. It would be nice if you kept at least half of our dates. Just saying.”

Derek looks gutted. Than shakes himself. “I have to keep my pack happy Stiles. As my mate you should want that too.”

Stiles doesn't have the energy for this fight. It's not worth it after as long a week as he's had. He just gives in. “Whatever Derek. I'm tired. I'm going to sleep.”

Derek looks like he's gotten his way and smiles. He strips and Stiles hates how he still feels like a horny teenage looking at a naked Derek. The well muscled wolf always makes his heart beat faster as the blood flows south. Derek smirks at him probably smelling his arousal. Derek crawls up the bed and Stiles' mouth goes dry. He feels a bit like a caged animal as Derek moves his arms to hold himself up over Stiles, he does half push up down to bury his face in Stiles neck. He makes a happy noise. “Mate.” He pushed back up and there is a look of wonder on his face. It always makes Stiles embarrassed. Like Derek is looking at something amazing. He smiles and closes his eyes. He always looks younger when he smiles. Stiles reaches up and caresses Derek's cheek feeling a couple days of stubble. He always loves Derek with stubble. 

“I love you Stiles.” Derek moves his legs between Stiles' and Stiles moans as he feels Derek's hard length against his own. Stiles opens he legs and wraps them around Derek's waist. 

He looks Derek in the eye and says “I love you too Derek.”

Derek breaks into an even bigger smile and the kiss. Their tongues battling each other making gasping moans come from both of them. Derek pulls away and grabs lube from the bedside table. Derek's smile turns dirty and he pours it onto his dick. Stiles stares hungrily at Derek while he preps his cock. “You ready for me, Stiles? Ready for your mate?”

Derek reaches between Stiles legs with his lubed fingers and slicks Stiles making him moan. “Yes, Derek. Yes. Please.”

Derek moves them until he's at Stiles' entrance. Stiles closes his eyes in anticipation. “No, baby. Look at me. Let me see you as I take you.”

Stiles eyes flutter open as he looks at Derek's face. He looks so vulnerable and yet so fucking sexy as he pushes into Stiles. “Fuck so full.”

Stiles loses the ability to talk as Derek starts to thrust faster and faster. Hitting the spot inside that makes him see stars. After Derek reduces Stiles to a whimpering mess the wolf wraps his hand around Stiles' cock and starts thrusting faster and faster. By the time he's on the verge of cumming Derek is slamming into him and looking desperate. “Please Derek.”

Derek shoves deep and Stiles can feel him start to shoot inside him. This sends Stiles over the edge and he shoots all over his stomach and chest. He fades into a happy warm head space and feels Derek moving them around. He opens his eyes enough to see Derek moving closer with a rag to wipe them both down. He smiles lazily at Derek who returns the smile. Derek crawls back in bed and moves Stiles until he is falling asleep on the wolfs chest to the sound of his mates heartbeat with Derek's arms around him. Feeling sexually satisfied he snuggles closer and makes the decision to stay home tomorrow and work on spending time with Derek.


	2. Chapter 2

Waking up Stiles stretches and feels a little sore from last night. Stiles smiles at the reminder of how good the sex is with Derek. He reaches for his mate and is a little annoyed when no one is in the bed with him. He stumbles into the bathroom and quickly goes through his morning routine with a quick rinse off to wake up. He puts on a pair of pjs and heads out of the room. He can smell the coffee from downstairs and hear people talking. He was hoping for just them today but he can tag along with the pack today. It'll be a good start. 

Turning the corner into the dining room to get to the kitchen and is shocked when he sees the whole pack sitting at the table. The shock is not from everyone being there but that they all have bags next to them. Packed bags and camping gear. “Hey guys, what's going on?”

They all look guilty except Jackson, who just looks like a smug ass. Derek comes into to room and he looks guilty too. “You're up. We're going to a camp site in the mountains to bond as a pack. My family used to do it.”

He blinks a couple times trying to process what he's hearing then grasps at the smallest of straws to keep his sanity. Derek wants him to go with them. “Ok, give me ten and I can pack a bag too.”

Of course it's Jackson who laughs. “You're not coming with us, Stilinski. It's just for pack member, which you are not.”

He prays to anyone who might be listening for Derek to speak up. To say 'of course you’re pack and of course you're coming with us'. But he doesn't. He just looks guilty and a bit stoic. Derek motions to the pack to get going. They all grab their gear and start to leave. Scott gives him puppy eyes and a thumbs up which makes Stiles want to punch him. He takes a long look at Scott's retreating back and is horrified to realize he can't remember the last time they hung out. Shouldn't you be able to remember the last time you hung out with your best friend? Especially since they lived in the same city. 

He ignored the rest of the pack and heads into the kitchen. Derek follows on his heals. He moves to the coffee pot and it pissed when sees that it's completely empty. He grabs it and moves about the kitchen to fill it with water and refill the filter with grounds. Derek keeps looking at him like he's expecting something but he doesn't stop until the coffee is brewing. He only than turns to Derek and raises an eyebrow telling the wolf to get on with it. Derek moves and wraps his arms around him burying his face in Stiles neck and inhaling deeply. “It's only a couple days. I'll be back soon, Stiles. It's just a pack thing, it helps with the bonds.”

“Yeah, a pack thing. And I am clearly not pack.” He pulls away and moves to the fridge. Since he won't be spending the day with Derek he'll make his normal breakfast and go to the office. “Have fun and be safe. Don't get killed.”

Derek grabs him and pulls him back into a hug. “You're my mate, Stiles. That's enough. I love you and we need to talk, I swear I will when I get back. But I have to go.”

He really doesn't want to say it back but it was a rule they made years ago. “I love you too. I just don't like you right now. So go. We'll talk when you get back from this trip that I'm just hearing about from my boyfriend.”

Derek gives him a tight hug and then is gone. Stiles stays frozen in the middle of the kitchen until the coffee maker beeps as it finishes. He pours a cup and starts his day. He makes eggs and sausage and curses as he goes into the dining room. None of the pack cleaned up after themselves. “Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck. Damn lazy assholes.”

He wants to yell and call Derek to yell but a quiet voice in the back of his head that sounds suspiciously like Jackson says Derek wouldn't be on his side. He eats in silence at a dirty table that he knows he's going to have to clean and looks around at a room he doesn't even like. He feels tears come to his eyes thinking that this place doesn't feel like home to him. He has a terrible feeling that this might be his life and not some horrible dream. Shaking himself he moves on with his day and gets ready to go to the office. Driving in he is annoyed at how far he has to go to get to his office. Wishing for the thousandth time that he didn't live so far out of town. Driving by his credit union he takes a sharp turn into the parking lot. Going in he smiles at the teller and asks to speak to someone about getting a home loan. An hour later he's met with a loan officer, gone over his financials and gotten pre-approved for a loan up to $280,000. He's not sure why he didn't but he feels better thinking he has a way out. Light at the end of the tunnel so to speak. 

He gets to work and after a couple hours his Skype goes off on his laptop and he sees it's his friend Kate from college. He clicks answer and greets her. “Hey Kate, how are you doing?”

“Great. Long week but wanted to check in on you. Haven't chatted in a couple weeks.” She says smiling at him. They went to college together and she stayed in Portland, Or. Working at a private company while Stiles had gone to work for the city. “I need boy advice. Aaron is nice and fun but kinda boring. John is sexy as hell but he's not as nice but I have more in common with him.”

They talk about her dating habits for a while and Stiles forgets about his own problems for a time. He keeps laughing at her stories of the dates she had been on. “Oh god, he didn't. No guy is that stupid.”

“He did. He had us go dutch after he almost begged me to go on a date with him. How bad is that?” She laughingly tells him. “God you're lucky you're not on the market anymore. Derek might be a dick lately but it's better than nothing.”

He must make a face or something because her eyes narrow and she gives him a curious face. “What?”

“It's not better then nothing. I think I'm breaking up with him. I feel like I'm living with a roommate who I have sex with but we do nothing else together.” He says and his voice breaks. He tries to keep it together but can feel tears start to form.

“What happened? This has been a long time coming but what was the final straw?” She makes sympathetic noises. 

“Last night I got home from a night out and found Derek and some of my friends from high school, they're his buddies now. One of them insulted me and he did nothing. Than later said I shouldn't have done it cause he wants his friends to feel comfortable at his house. Like it's ok for his friends to insult me but I can't defend myself. He tells me I'm the most important thing to him and than does nothing to make me feel that way. It's like dating a crazy person.” He is almost panting when he finishes. “And the worse part is, is that he seems to think as long as we keep having sex everything is fine. I can't take it anymore. Last night after telling me to not insult his friends we have mind blowing sex and when I get up this morning all his friends are there with camping gear. They are camping right now and he didn't invite me. He didn't even fucking tell me about it. What kind of boyfriend does that?”

She nods along with him and then makes a very sad face. “What are you going to do?”

He realizes he already has a plan. “I stopped by my bank this morning to see if I wanted a home load how much I would qualify for, and it's good. I'm going to buy my own place and move out. I won't be disrespected in my own home by people who my boyfriend seems to value more than me. I'm going to contact a therapist as well. If he wants to continue being with me we'll both go.” He can feel the finality of his words. If Derek disagrees then he'll just have to see about dating again. But he can't keep on like he is now, it's crazy and making him miserable. 

She makes agreeable comments and then they move to less stressful topics and finish with promises to talk more often. He gets back to work and after a couple more hours looks at his phone. Taking a deep breath he checks to see Derek had texted him but nope. Nothing. Going through his contacts he pulls up Emily. “Hey Stiles. How are you doing?” 

“I'm great. Just at the office. I was wondering if you had any plans tonight?” He questions. 

“No real plans. Why?” She responds. 

“Well, I was wondering if we could grab dinner. I've been thinking about those condos from last night.” He tell her. “How about the bar at 6?”

She agrees and he gets back to work. After an other hour he grabs his phone again, still no text from Derek. Deciding to give Derek a chance he calls Deaton. “What can I do for you, Mr Stilinski?” 

“Do you know any therapists in the area who know about the supernatural?” He asks. 

There are a couple minutes of silence and he would think the line had disconnected but he can still some of the dogs in the background of the vet's line. “Ahh. I know of a few. Can I ask why you need one?”

He decides to just tell him. “I'm moving out and Derek and I will need couples therapy before we're ok enough for me to move back.”

And again there is a long moment of silence. “I will call them and give them your number.”

“Thanks Deaton.” He ends the call. Moving from Deaton's number to Derek's and hits call. 

It rings a few times then goes to voicemail. “You've reached Derek Hale. Leave a message.”

Stiles pinches the bridge of his nose. “Hey Derek. Hope you made it there safely. Drop me a line when you get this, screw it. You'll do what you want.”

He hangs up and grabs his bag to head to the bar. Walking the couple blocks clears his head and calms him down. He walks into the bar with a smile on his face and sees Emily sitting at a table in the bar area. He walks over and sits with her. 

“Ok, first of all I want to thank you for choosing me as your agent. It shows that you trust me. And secondly, what the hell?” She grabs his arm. “Do you live with your boyfriend?”

“You're welcome. And I don't see no ring on this finger.” He jokes holding up his hand. She laughs and then looks serious. “Ok, I decided I want to leave Derek. And before you ask no, he didn't cheat or anything like that. I just don't feel like his house is home and at the end of the day I want to live in a place that feels like home. So I want to find a place I like.” 

She raises her eyebrows. “Alright, don't think we're not going to back to the topic of you and your boyfriend but we can discuss real estate.” 

“Ok, I want hard wood floors. Light quartz counter tops and an island that opens up to the living room or dining room. The lay out of the loft last night is perfect but I'd prefer 3 bedrooms and 2 baths. Failing that I want an area for an office and 2 bedrooms.” He tells her. They discuss pricing and more for a while. They older their 3rd round of drinks when he moves back to his relationship with Derek. “So, what do you want to about me and Derek?”

She picks up her drink and sips it. “I'm not terribly surprised. We've been friends and hanging out for almost two years but I haven't met Derek yet. He doesn't seem like a very involved boyfriend.”

“He's not. He's currently on a camping trip with a bunch of people who basically act like I don't exist. He also didn't tell me about the trip or invite me on it.” He raises he beer to cheers her. “Last night I got home and one of them insulted me in my own house and he did nothing to defend me. Not that I need it but he didn't even bat an eye and then later told me I shouldn't insult his friend because he wanted his friend to feel safe there. Dick.”

“God, what a dick.” She looks shocked. Her phone goes off and she looks at him. He nods for her to go talk. 

He sips his beer until he feels someone come close. Turning he expects to see Emily and is annoyed when it's Peter. “Shouldn't you be with the pack, Peter?”

“Ahh, Stiles. Miss Martin still doesn't like me much so Derek thought it would be better for me to sit this one out. He let me know a couple weeks ago so I wasn't insulted.” Peter smirks at him. He heard that Derek didn't invite him with the pack. 

“So you got more of a heads up then I did. Nice. Good to know he's a thoughtful nephew.” He leans back and takes a drink. “Can I help you with something, Peter?”

“Well, I'm hoping you'll tell me that my werewolf enhanced hearing is mistaken and that you're not leaving your Alpha.” Peter states. 

Stiles actually laughs. “Do I look like I'm at the pack bonding weekend. No. I'm not. I don't have an Alpha. I have a boyfriend who neglects me. So I'm doing what I need to do.”

Peter flashes his eyes and moves on getting his phone out. Stiles wonders if he'll get through to Derek. He's already on his path, he's not turning away from it. He feels a huge sense of dread that he'll have to deal with Derek, but he also feels a huge sense of hope. Emily comes back and grabs her beer. “Ok, so I have a couple units in mind. Do you want a finished unit or one that is rough in'd and you can pick the tile or floors?”

He thinks about it. “Either. Show me a couple finished units and if I don't find one I love we can look into buying one that isn't finished yet and picking out the finishes with the developer.” 

“Ok, we can plan to meet tomorrow since you were pre-approved from the bank that speeds up the process so we can start looking tomorrow if you're free?” She asks. 

“I'm in. Let's start tomorrow.” He clinks his glass with hers. He feels a weigh lift off his shoulders.


	3. Chapter 3

Stiles wakes up with a smile on his face. He quickly gets up and makes some coffee. While it brews he goes down into the basement. He looks around and finds his original apartment furniture. When he live in Portland for school his last year he had an apartment. It was small and most of the furniture was Ikea but a couple of the pieces are good enough to keep. He had gotten rid of the couch when he moved back to Beacon Hills. Looking at his dining room table he makes sure it's all there. Dark wood and matching chairs. They had been a project for him. He had bought them from a carpenter in Portland who made unfinished pieces and you had to stain them. It had been fun. His older bed is still wrapped in plastic but he'll have to buy a bed frame. Going to one of the boxes he opens it and starts to catalog the kitchen tools he has, pots and pans. A set of non matching dishes. A full set of utensils. He has a decent start. He'll have to buy a new coffee maker but he can pick one up today. 

After breakfast he meets Emily at one of the developing buildings. “Ok, so we have four units in this building in your price range that meet your requirements. There are finished units in two of the other buildings but they are all higher end so only a couple in each building that are in your price range and they are only one bedrooms. So you ready to start?”

He has rarely seen her in her 'business' mode but he likes it. She seems completely competent. They start. He likes the first one but there is no balcony and the second one isn't right either. The third one is good. But he wants to keep looking. Emily smiles as they leave the third unit. “Ok. Those were good but I think this last one will be perfect. It's a two bedroom but has room for an office. It also has the biggest balcony in the building. It's a corner unit with huge windows.”

They go up a flight of stairs instead of using the elevator and got to the unit. Stiles walks in and holds back a gasp. It's perfect. The floors are perfect. The kitchen is just want he wanted. Huge island that opens up to the living area. Light gray cabinets with a darker gray quartz that looks amazing with the light brown floors. He can already picture his table set up and where he'd put the coffee maker on the counter. He wanders to the balcony and it wraps around the corner of the building. It's big enough for chairs and a small table, he can already picture pots with flowers in the corners of it. The view is great, he can see part of another older brick building and it opens to a park with views above that of the hills that Beacon Hills was named for. He loves it. The bedrooms and bathrooms are both just how he'd plan them if he could. It even has an alcove where he can put a desk for his office. He already has his bedroom laid out in his head. He walks back into the living room area and Emily is beaming at him. He narrows his eyes. “How much is this unit listed at?”

Her smile gets even bigger. “It's listed at $230,000. Well within your budget.”

He leans against the wall and already knows what he wants to put on it. “Ok, so I'll offer $210, you'll counter with $225 and we'll settle on $220, no inspection and the seller paying closing costs. With a fast closing. 30 days.”

He watches her do all the calculations in her head. She smiles. “I think the seller will go for that. Let me give them a call and I will let you know.”

She goes out to the balcony to make the call and Stiles wanders around laying out furniture in the space. He is already thinking about where to get furniture when his cell goes off. Thinking it might finally be Derek he is a little disappointed to find it his dad. “Hey pops, how are you doing?”

“Hey Stiles. Haven't talked to you in a couple days. Wanted to know if you and Derek wanted to grab dinner tonight?” His dad asks. 

Stiles knows his face is comically bad since he can see Emily rolling her eyes at him through the windows. He forgot to tell his dad he was going to buy a condo. He's going to be pissed to be left out. Happy since he's been getting angrier and angrier at Derek. He had told him about some of the issues he had been having with his boyfriend.. “Ahh, I'd love to grab dinner. Derek is out of town with the pack so he can't go.”

His dad makes some gruff noises before agreeing. They are discussing a place to meet when Emily walks back in. “They agreed. You just bought this condo. I'll write up the paper work and you can sign them tomorrow.”

“Ahh, Stiles. Did you just buy a condo?” His dad asks him. He can hear the shock in his dads voice. 

He takes a deep breath. “Yes did, I did. And I will tell you all about it over dinner. I swear.”

His dad grumbles some more. “Ok, but we're getting pizza for dinner. Meet met at Delfino's.”

He agrees and hangs up. Emily makes a face. “Sorry. Didn't mean to out you about this. Are you sure you want to do this? I can call the developer back.”

“No, this is what I want.” He looks around and gets a goofy grin on his face. “This is definitely what I want.”

They make a plan to meet at her office on Monday so they can sign the papers and transfer the funds. He celebrates by taking himself out to a drink to get his emails done for the day to confirm his appointments for the week. He knows he has three meetings this week, two about new companies that are wanting to move to the area and one with a neighborhood association about redoing a park in the area. He is almost done when his phone rings from a number he doesn't recognize. “Hello?”

“Mr. Stilinski?” An unfamiliar woman's voice asks. He can tell she's older and it's a cultured voice. Very calming. 

“Yes, this is Stiles Stilinski. What can I do for you?” He thinks it might be the head of the neighborhood association. 

“Hi, I'm Dr Johnson. Dr Deaton gave me your number and said you were looking for a therapist?” She raised the tone at the end of the question. Her statement gives nothing away in case she was on speaker phone. 

He smiles. “Oh yeah. You're the therapist who know about 'grrr'. It's nice to meet you.”

He can tell she's either shocked or trying to not laugh. “Yes. Are you comfortable explaining the situation over the phone or if you'd like I can schedule a session for you and we can discuss it in private?”

He thinks for a second. “I can give the general issues and then set an appointment to go over the details. If that's ok with you?”

She agrees and he thinks about the issues. “Well, we have poor communication skills. I'm continually second to his pack of friends. They habitually treat me poorly and he never stands up for me. For the past couple years I've been more and more sidelined and excluded from the pack of friends, one who used to be my best friend in high school. My boyfriend habitually cancels dates at the last minute. He constantly tells me I'm the most important person in his life but he hasn't actively treated me like it in years. We've been together 7 years and I won't continue to have this type of relationship.”

She is silent for a while. “That is a lot to digest. I'm going to ask some questions that might be a little invasive so please don't get offended.”

“Go for it, Doc.” He hopes he won't get offended. 

She clears her throat. “Alright, so are you still physically intimate?”

“Oh yeah, 4-5 times a week. It's the only really good thing about the relationship.” He says hoping no one at the bar can tell what he's talking about. 

“Ok, I'll make of note of that. And is you ultimate goal to remain in the relationship or to amicable end it? She asks. 

“Yes, my goal is to stay with Derek. I love him. And I believe he loves me. I just don't believe we have the tools currently to maintain a healthy relationship at this time.” He tells her. And he means it. He want to end up with Derek. 

“Alright, I can work with that. I'll look up some techniques we can learn to help you both with communications. Do you mind if I get a good background from Dr Deaton? And does Tuesday work for an appointment?” She ends with two questions. 

“No, I don't mind if you talk to Deaton. Ask him anything you want. And that depends on where you're located.” He says with a laugh. 

“Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm in Woodland, just outside of Sacramento. You're in the Hale territory so that's about an hour. And will Alpha Hale be coming?” She tells him. 

“No idea, I'll ask him. Or leave a note if he's not back from his pack bonding camping trip by then. The later the better, say 6pm? Text me the address and I'll be there.” He says. It's a little over an hour away. He can leave work early. 

She agrees and he ends the call. 

He looks at the time and realizes he has to get going if he wants to meet his dad on time. Dropping a ten on the table he waves at the bartender on the way out. It's a quick drive to the restaurant and he can see his dad's cruiser in the parking lot. Going inside he waves at a couple people he knows and heads to a table where is dad is sitting. “Hey pops. How was your day?”

“It was fine. Now, you want to tell what happened and why you're buying a condo?” His dads voice is calm but he can practically feel the nervous energy coming off his dad. 

“Well I just realized that Derek and I are in different places in our lives now. This weekend was just the final straw so I went to the back and talked to a loan officer and got approved for a home loan. Looked at some lofts and put an offer in on one. They accepted and I'm signing the paperwork on Monday.” He takes a deep breath and looks at his dad. “I'm not leaving Derek. I'm just getting some space. Finding what I want.”

His dad just nods his head and they order some food and a couple beers. He doesn't even harp on his dad about the food since he had gotten his dad's last cholesterol results. All those years controlling his dads food had worked. The man had perfect cholesterol and blood pressure. They talk about non-serious things. “How's work going? Any good projects you're working on?”

He thinks for a minute. “I'm working on a park installation with a neighborhood by the lake. So that's going to be a little labor intensive but will pay off when it increases the summer rentals around the lake. The park will add huge value to the locals and a great marketing value for the 'visit Beacon Hills' website. I'm also have meetings this week with a company from an internet provider on a server farm into the outskirts of the county. That will be awesome since it'll bring construction jobs and then the permanent jobs to the area.” He pauses and looks at his dad. “What's with the goofy grin, old man?”

His dad throws his head back and laughs. “Old man. Watch it. I can still kick your butt. I'm grinning cause I'm watching my little boy sound like a grown man. And it makes me feel very proud of you.”

Stiles blushes at the compliment. “So how about you? Any interesting cases going on?”

“Nope. Nothing too interesting. There was a couple DV cases last week and a huge crash but no fatalities.” His dad gives him an odd look. “Nothing that was interesting enough to require an Alpha werewolf to be so busy and preoccupied that he would ignore his mate or so dangerous that he's doing something that needs the whole pack to ignore you either.”

“I didn't ask that.” He sighs at the last possible reason Derek was so distant. 

“Please, I raised you. I know you. I can't think of any logical reason that Derek isn't spending more time with you.” He frowns. “When he first came to me and asked permission to date you I told him yes because I saw how devoted he was to you even without officially dating you. Don't think I didn't know about you guys starting a couple weeks before you were 18. But I saw the way he looked at you. It was the way I looked at your mom. So I understood. When you told me he turned you down when you proposed I wanted to shoot him. But he still seemed so in love that I let it go. But I haven't seen that in a long time. I've barely seen him in a long time.”

He squirms uncomfortably. “It's not bad, it's just not good.” His dad gives him skeptical look. “Ok, it's bad, it feels like instead of growing up with each other we've grown apart. They all do their thing and have their own private jokes and I'm just not part of it. So I decided to move out. I know Derek and I know that just telling him these things wouldn't really work. But moving out will. Plus I love the loft. You have to see it.”

His dad smiles at his enthusiasm but it doesn't reach his eyes. He reaches over and grabs Stiles arm. “I understand son. Do you know how you're going to get through to him?”

“I got a therapist who knows about werewolves and I'm going to start seeing her. Hopefully he'll go with me.” He doesn't say that if his wolf doesn't go with him he's not sure they'll make it.

They continue to talk about less stressful topics and he says he'll show the loft soon. They walk out and his dad pulls him into a long hug. He feels content for the first time in a long time.


	4. Chapter 4

Stiles woke up Monday morning reaching out for Derek. He's a little disappointed when he doesn't touch his mates body. Shaking himself awake he looks around and there are no changes. He doesn't hear anyone downstairs. Derek and the pack are still camping. He gets up and stretches his sore muscles. Sunday had been perfect. He had slept in and then gone for a hike. It was nice not having to race to keep up with a werewolf or getting teased about not being fast enough. Had done his weekly shopping and then grabbed dinner with some friends. All couples but none of them pointed that out to him which he was grateful about. Making it home he had been hoping Derek would be there. He would have even been ok with the pack there. But nothing. 

Hopping in the shower he gets ready for his work day. Work is interesting and fun. His coworkers are great. The day is almost over and one of the city clerks who he hangs out with comes up to his office. “So there is a bet going that you're stoned. Why are you so happy?”

He stands up. “Well, Kris. I'm happy cause I'm signing the documents to buy a condo. One of those new ones in the Park building.” 

She gasps and hugs him. “You're finally leaving Derek? That's great.”

He frowns. “I'm not leaving him. I'm just getting some space of my own.”

“Please, I've met him a total of twice in the year I've worked here. My husband works out of state and how many times have you met him.” Kris asks him. Her raised eye brow judging him.

“About a dozen times. How's his arm doing? Is it feeling better?” Her husband hurt his arm a couple weeks ago. He had skype'd with Kris and work and they has all said hi. 

“He is. Thanks. He got the bottle of Scotch you sent him.” She laughs. “He said next time he's in town you guys have to go out again. He needs a hiking buddy when he's in town.” 

He laughs and agrees with her. She heads back to her office with a promise of seeing his new place when he moves. “I swear, you'll be one of the first invites over after I move in. I'll plan a house warming party.”

He can her her laughter echoing down the hall and smiles. He glances at the clock and quickly responds to a couple emails and heads out. He gets to Emily's office quickly and smiles as he walks in. He's been on a happy streak all day. She laughs and waves him over even though she's on the phone. He catches the end of her conversation. “Of course I can show you a couple lofts in that building. This evening is good or we can do it later in the week. Ahh, later in the week? Sounds perfect. Check with your schedule and get back to me.”

She ends the call and laughs. “That was your friend Matt. He's looking to get into the same building as you. He is staying with family friends and is aching to get a place of his own. He buys from me and I'll be buying your drinks for a month.”

He throws his head back and laughs. “You got it. See all the clients in bring you? Hehe, and you have some papers for me?”

She pulls out a stack of papers and he spends the next few minutes signing documents over and over. When he's done she tells him that it'll be about two weeks. “Once I file these it'll go to the Title/Escrow company and than once the lender, your bank, transfers the funds, your name will go on the title and you'll get the keys. And then I expect to be invited to your house warming party. I will be bringing you my signature Martini shaker and glasses as my present.”

He hugs her goodbye and heads home. He gets home and is happy to see that Derek's car is there but so are the rest of the packs'. He doesn't bother grumbling he just heads into the house. The pack is in the living room watching TV holding plates of what must be pizza from what Stiles' is smelling. Scott is the only one who responds to his greeting. Derek isn't with them but Stiles figures he must be upstairs. He heads to the kitchen to make the steak he bought for himself yesterday. He quickly cuts up some veggies and throws them in a steamer. Going out to the back deck he turns on the grill to heat up. Derek is standing in the kitchen when he goes back inside. He walks up and hugs the wolf. “I missed you.”

Derek rugs his nose along Stiles' neck and whispers. “mate” 

Stiles pulls away and starts putting spices on the steak. Derek follows behind him and hugs him from the back. “I missed you too. I got your call but was too busy to check in. Sorry.”

He wants more than anything to relax into Derek's arms and arch his head back to rest on Derek's shoulder. To feel secure in his grip. But he doesn't. “I'm glad you had fun with the pack.”

Derek goes still behind him. “Pack is important to me Stiles.”

Stiles finishes getting the steak ready and pulls away from Derek to go to the grill. He turns back and is struck by how beautiful his wolf his. The green eyes showing surprise at his turn around. “What are you doing tomorrow night? When are you off work and can you get off at 5?”

Derek looks down and flushes. “While we were camping Erica thought it would be nice to have a pack bowling night tomorrow.”

Stiles pinches the bridge of his nose trying to fight off the headache that is forming. “Can I come too?”

Now Derek looks embarrassed. “Well, Jackson is still angry at you for insulting him. You should apologize to him. And Isaac gets upset when you two fight. So I don't want him to be uncomfortable.”

Stiles stands there blinking for a minute before wondering if killing rage is a distinct scent. Because he might smell like that now. “Can they do the night without you?”

Derek's eyebrows go down in a scowl. “No. I'm there Alpha. I've told you how much being around them makes me happy. Why would I cancel that?”

“To spend time with your boyfriend.” He sighs and turns to put the steak on. “You know what, Derek? Do whatever you want. I'm not your husband. I can't make you do anything.”

He stays outside while the steak cooks and feels like crying when Derek doesn't come out to keep fighting. Instead Scott comes out. “He really did miss you, man.” 

“I know he did. Just not enough to spend any time with me. What are you up to this week? You want to do something?” He again prays that Scott will say yes and they can work on being friends again. 

Scott gives him puppy eyes and Stiles doesn't even have to wait for the words to know he's not going to like them. “Actually, I'm hanging out with Jackson and Isaac this week. Sorry man. But we can do something this weekend. Oh wait, I'm going to be with Allison this weekend.”

He asks cause he misses his brother. The person he was once closer to than anyone else. “Next week?'

Scott's face looks even more like a kicked puppy. “I can't. I'm doing something with pack all week. But you should ask Derek if you can come to the pack camping next week. We're going to be having a joint pack meeting with the Stevenson pack.”

Scott gets enthusiastic towards the end and Stiles is speechless. The Stevenson Alpha was the one who insulted him so much in his own house. “I didn't know they were so close.”

Scott seems happy to be answering questions instead telling him no. “Yeah, Derek let her and her pack settle just about 40 miles north of the preserve.”

Derek rushes out to the deck and snaps. “Scott!”

He turns to Derek. “So he wasn't supposed to tell me that part, ok. Where you going to tell me?”

Derek looks guilty and upset. “Ok, so that's a no. And do we need this pack? Is there something about their pack that will help defend this territory from a threat that you're not telling me about?”

Derek growls and shuts his mouth. Stiles feels pathetic doing this in front of Scott but he needs to do this. “Derek, please, tell me anything that will make sense. Anything.”

Derek looks upset but doesn't respond. Stiles pulls the steak of the grill and goes back inside. He listens to Derek tell off Scott outside. Scott hurries by and glares at Stiles like it's his fault for being an idiot. Stiles isn't even sure anymore why he wants Scott back in his life. He puts all the food he was preparing into a tupperware and then puts it in the fridge. He's lost his appetite. 

Derek comes inside and just glares at him like he is expecting Stiles to keep fighting with him. But he doesn't have anymore fight in him tonight. He's not sure it would even be worth it to fight with Derek. He's not going to convince the man of anything. He just shakes his head sadly and turns to go upstairs. “I'm tired Derek. I'm going to bed. And please have your pack clean up after themselves. I'm not going to do it anymore.”

He grabs a shower and hopes that it covers his crying under the water. He crawls into a cold bed to the sound of laughter coming from downstairs. He chokes up for a second then calms enough to let sleep cover him in a warm haze until he's woken up to Derek standing naked in the moonlight coming through the window into their room. Every perfect muscle is outlined in silver. The wolf turns to look at his mate and Stiles almost groans at the sight of Derek's cock fully hard at 9 thick inches. “Thinking good thoughts or just happy to see me?”

“Just the scent of us together, Stiles. It drives me nuts. I can barely keep my hands off of you.” The Alpha must be upset since his eyes are burning red. He moves to crawl over the bed never taking his eyes off of Stiles. He moves up and captures his mouth. He grinds his rock hard cock against Stiles and the boy feels dizzy from how fast his own cock fills with blood. Derek pulls away and he actually whimpers at the loss of his wolf. The older man throws the blankets off of him and is covering him within a second. Stiles forgets his anger and spreads his legs for Derek. Wanting him closer. 

Stiles is shocked when Derek slicks himself and shoves balls deep in one thrust making a high pitch keen as he feels like he's being split apart. Derek doesn't move. Just looks down at him with burning red eyes. Stiles must give some signal he's relaxing because Derek growls 'mate' and pulls all the way out and slams back in. He is lost in sensations biting and clawing at Derek's while he's being pounding into the mattress. 

He almost is about to cum when Derek pulls and puts Stiles on all fours and pushes back into him. He whines at the new pressure inside him. He moves his hand to start jacking himself but Derek grabs both his hands and moves them to the headboard and then the wolf lays his hands on Stiles shoulders and starts to pound into him again. The new angle is killing him. After 30 minutes Derek has reduced him to a sobbing mess with the need to cum. Derek must be getting close since Stiles can feel the stretch of Derek's knot pushing at his entrance. He comes back enough to start to say 'no'. He's not stretched enough. It will tear him up. But he doesn't get a chance to as Derek growls around fanged teeth 'mine' and shoves the knot into him. 

Stiles screams from the pressure of the knot against his prostate. He is sent over the edge and starts to cum the second he feels the first jet of scalding cum inside him. He shoots ropes of cum each accompanied by a loud almost painful moan. When he's done he can feel Derek laying his check again Stiles back. He feels grounded by his mate. Collapsing in exhaustion he only comes to enough to feel Derek reposition them on their sides and can feel Derek's breath on his neck. Reassuring him that Derek is close even though they are still connected. He lays in Derek's arms and thinks he's never felt this physically satisfied before. But since Derek is Derek and their relationship basically sucks now, Derek ruins it with his next words. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the meeting with the Stevenson pack. But Alpha Stevenson thought it would be better for just the wolves to go to the meeting.”

Stiles keeps his mouth shut and just tries to not cry. His afterglow completely gone. But Derek makes a whining sound and pulls him closer. “I'm sorry, Stiles. But pack relations are important. I'm sorry I didn't tell you but I didn't want you to get upset.”

Ok, now his mouth has to be open. He stares at a point on the wall refusing to look at Derek and in an angry whisper since his throat is hurting says, “Maybe you should stop doing things that you're sorry for. You're a grown fucking man who should know better. And as for that Stevenson bitch, her pack isn't stronger or better than yours in any way so there is no logical reason that you should take an order form her and exclude the person you say is most important to you.”

Derek makes a wounded angry sound. Stiles decides to shut him down. “I'm not fighting anymore tonight. I have to sleep. I have work tomorrow and you have to get up and spend time with the same group of people you spent all weekend with instead of me. Good night, Hale.”

He tunes out Derek's whimpers and even though Derek is literally inside him. He feels that they have never been so far from each other.


	5. Chapter 5

Stiles woke up sore from the rough sex last night. He limped to the shower and hissed the then hot water went over his sensitive parts. After a couple minutes the water relaxes his muscles and he washes up. Getting dressed he puts on jeans with a button down shirt and tie. He catches Derek watching him and goes to the bed and kissed his forehead telling the wolf to go back to sleep. Derek wraps his arms around Stiles. “Why do I feel like we're still fighting?”

“Because we are. We haven't resolved anything, Derek. The sex was great but you're still not telling me something and I'm still angry. I love you, but you have to know it has to change. You can't be happy like this.” He says into Derek's hair and he returns Derek's hug. He can't help showing his wolf affection. He's been with this man since he was a teenage. It feels like second nature. 

Derek squeezes him and says in a pained voice. “Stiles.”

He waits to see if Derek is going to say anything else but as he usually does, his wolf remains silent. He pulls away and smiles sadly at Derek. Kissing his forehead again he turns and goes downstairs to the scent of coffee. Thank god for timers on the coffee maker. He rounds the corner and sees Jackson, Boyd, and Erica eating breakfast at the dining room table. Erica smiles at him and he feel a slight surge of affection for the girl. He bonded with her after the issues with the Alpha pack. Boyd just gives him a head nod and Stiles returns it. He gets a cup of coffee and a yogurt and sits at the table getting ready to talk to Erica and Boyd. Jackson ruins it. “Way to give it up, Stilinski. It was like listening to a porn where some bitch is banged by a group of guys.”

Stiles just sigh and looks at the wolves. He's a little please that Erica looks pissed at Jackson. Boyd is unreadable but Jackson has a smirk on his face. Stiles decides to shut him down. “I should have let Derek kill you when we found out you were the Kanima. Scott was an idiot for trying to save you. You clearly aren't worth it. This town lost 9 deputies to your claws, 9 people who felt duty and service to others was more important than their own safety. They worked to make this place safer. And instead of all the continued good they could have done we have you. Who only fought to make this place safer at Derek's orders, who has never volunteered to help anyone. It was a poor fucking trade. I am your Alpha's mate and you might snap back that his isn't my house, I don't care. But I live here and as someone who has worked hard and made something of myself, who has made his father proud, you will never fucking talk down to me again. From now on you don't exist to me. You're a sorry excuse for a person and you are no longer my problem.”

He gets up and makes his coffee into a togo cup and walks back through the front of the house. Jackson looks pissed and Erica and Boyd both look shocked at his words. He wasn't lying. He's done with any of the pack insulting him. He heads to the front door and Derek is standing at the to of the stairs looking angry. Stiles doesn't even bother stopping. He has to get to work .

His work day goes by quickly. He's upset but ends up having a good day. He gets a lot done. He sends his assistant home at 3:30 and sends his boss an email that he's leaving for the day and has a breakfast meeting tomorrow so will be in at 10. He quickly gets an email back telling him to have a great day. He likes that as long as he gets all his work done he can make his own schedule. He gets in his jeep and drives out to the meeting with the therapist. He likes his new jeep. His old blue one is parked at his dads house. 

He makes it in good time feeling relaxed and happy after singing the whole way. The building is a nice 3 story brick building. He heads in and finds Dr Johnson office. He goes up the stairs and finds her office. It's a nice office. Wood paneled and warm colors. The waiting room is comfortable. He sits and gets his tablet out and starts to write bullets for the meeting tomorrow's meeting. He's half way done when the office door opens and a women about his dad's age comes out. She's beautiful and in a suit. She smiles at him and ask. “Mr Stilinski?”

He stands up and holds out his hand to her. “Please, call me Stiles.”

“Stiles. Come on in. Is Alpha Hale going to be joining us today?” She looks around the waiting room. 

He sighs in disappointment. “No. He's currently at a pack bowling night without me.”

She makes a neutral face and just nods her head. “Ok, come in and take a seat.”

He walks in and laughs. “There's actually a couch to lay down on.”

“I find it helps disarm people if they are more comfortable. So I talked to Deaton and got a decent summary of how your pack formed in high school and some of the activities that you and the pack went through so I know a general background.” She sits at her deck. It's dark rosewood. She takes out a notepad and looks back at him. “So you're saying that your having some relationship issues?”

He smiles sadly. “You could say that. Derek and I have been together since I was 18. We started dating my senior year of high school. He was pretty amazing. Romantic and attentive. But about a year and a half ago he started to do pack meetings without me. I thought it was just me being paranoid and I was working a lot and after everything we had done the territory was actually really quiet. So I just thought he was being nice. But then they started planning everything without me. It came to a head three months ago. I came home from a work event early. And he was having a meeting with the Stevenson pack. He hadn't even told their Alpha that he had a mate. She blatantly hit on him the entire time while insulting me. He apologized and I just figured he needed their help or that their pack was massive. So we had to just swallow the insults. But they're not. They're about the same size with a reputation for lousy leadership. So there was no reason for him not to stand up to her. It's been a hard couple months since then. His beta Jackson has been getting more vocal about his dislike of me. It came to head this morning when I told him off. I know Derek will be pissed I'm just not sure I care anymore.”

He watches her process everything and then she writes a bit down. She repositions herself and then asks. “Is it ok if I rapid fire some questions to get some clarification?”

He nods his head. “Ok, so you're still physically intimate?” He nods yes. “He's actively called you his mate in front of the pack?” Again a nod yes. “You were an active member of the pack?” Another nod. “Have there been any active threats lately that you know about?” Shakes his head no. “He lets his beta's insult you?” He nods. 

She 'hmm's for a minute than shakes her head. “Well, based on pack hierarchy you outrank the betas so they should instictively be nice to you to make their Alpha happy.”

He agrees thinking that everything he read about packs would confirm that. “I always thought that Derek just didn't care and when he didn't react they decided they could get away with it.”

“That goes against everything I know about pack dynamics.” Her voice is even and calm but Stiles can see the confusion in her eyes. “Ok, so I'll have to do some research on this. You said he cancels dates? Can you give me an example?”

“Well, last Friday we were supposed to have dinner at a restaurant by my office and when I got there I ordered my food. I didn't even wait for Derek. It didn't occur to me that he would even show up. Than he canceled saying there had been a pack issue. When I got home later their were pizza boxed all over and the pack was cuddling on the couch watching movies. I wasn't invited.” He tells her. 

She purses her lips but doesn't give any other reaction. “And how often does he cancel dates?”

“About 75 percent of the time. And most of the ones he keeps are dates at home.” His stomach churns a bit at tell her that. He sounds a bit pathetic. 

“Alright. I'm going to suggest that you get him to come to our next meeting. I'm going to talk to some contacts and see if there is any werewolf reason he might be doing this, if not then we can work on some human ways to help your relationship. Now, an exercise I'd like you to do when one of the betas is insulting you is to politely tell them to stop and that it's hurting your feelings. Don't hold back if they are being dicks.” He must make a face because she holds a hand out. “No, stay with me. Than I want you to tell Derek that his betas are hurting your feelings and that as the Alpha he should care that his betas are rude to his mate. This should trigger a protective instinct.”

“Now a second step we might do is have you move out for a time.” He sputters a bit. “What?”

He blushes. “I might have bought a condo.”

He snickers a little at the shock of her face. But she is a professional and within thirty seconds her face is controlled and calm again. “You bought a condo?”

“Yes, I bought it over the weekend.” He tells her. 

She nods her head. “And what was the final straw that triggered this move?”

“Well, last Friday night I went to an open house a friend was hosting and saw this amazing loft that looked like everything that I've been wanting to have for a couple years. Really since I started working. Derek didn't ask my opinion when he rebuilt his house.” He takes a breath. “When I got home Derek was with the pack. One of his betas, Jackson, insulted me and I told him that he was an ass and to not insult me in my own house. He responded that it was Derek's house and not mine. Derek didn't correct him. The next morning Derek and the pack left to go camping for the weekend to bond as a pack. They didn't invite me as usual. So I was so angry I went to my bank the next morning talked to a loan officer and got approved for a loan. Monday I signed the papers. I should get it in two weeks.”

She nods along with his words. He starts to feel nervous until she smiles. “That is a good plan. Some distance could help find some clarity in the relationship. Now I'm going to do something I don't usually do. Don't tell Derek you're moving until you actually do it. Don't lie about it if he asks or anyone else asks but not volunteer the information to him or the pack. I want to see how observant he is, if he doesn't notice then we can work on it.”

He nods. He notices that their hour is almost up. He asks in a small voice because as reassured as he is by her words he's still fucking terrified that everything is going to fall apart. “Do you think my relationship can be fixed?”

She purses her lips again and nods. “I would have to see both of you together for a while to be completely sure, but you being here is a good indication that it can be fixed.”

He smiles and feels his vision blur from tears in his eyes. “In your experience, can you think of any reason this might be happening?”

He lets her think for a minute and he's about to ask again when she says. “I can think of a couple reasons. First, as someone who was never trained to be an Alpha he could be fighting his instincts so strongly that he's not sure how to act with you as his mate. Secondly, he could just not know how to be in a long term relationship as an adult. His parents died when he was a teen so he could have memories of the good stuff but no real idea of how to make the day to day stuff work. Most people don't have that, good parents tend to shield their kids from the bad stuff and the boring part of your parents relationship can be less noticed. The worst option is that he wants to end the relationship but doesn't know how to.”

He nods along with her and they make a plan for a standing appointment every Tuesday for the foreseeable future. “And tell Derek to come next time. Don't ask him. Tell him it's important to you and to your continued future as a couple. Tell him it's couples counseling. Also, having a secret add stress to every aspect of your life. Since you don't seem to be hanging out with any of the pack I'm going to give you the number of my daughter Emily. She knows about werewolves so you can talk to her more openly. Call her and take her out for a drink. She needs to meet more people in Beacon Hills.”

She starts to say a number but Stiles already knows it. “Is she a real estate agent for a developer? Cause if she is then she's already my friend and she was the one I used to buy the loft.”  
She laughs and the end the session on a happy note. Sadly he loses it on the way home and starts to cry by the side of the road. He gets home at 9 to a still empty house. He gets a text from Matt asking him if he wants to look at houses with him this week. Stiles agrees and they plan to do it on Thursday. 

Stiles go to bed thinking he might have taken a step in the right direction with this therapist.


	6. Chapter 6

Stiles wakes up to an Alpha werewolf snoring on him. He gently tries to roll Derek off of him, the man is built like a brick. He gets Derek almost off of him when the wolf makes high whining noises and grabs Stiles and pulls him close making satisfied grumbling noises. Derek is sometimes ridiculously cute. Stiles shimmies out from under Derek and makes it to the bathroom. After he walks back into the bedroom he's struck by the sight in front of him. Derek has rolled on to his back and kicked off most of his covers. He looks like a model. Stiles looks down at his body. It's not bad. Years of running with wolves had given him some good definition and he had hired a trainer at the gym when he got his job. But he was never going to have the huge bulky beautiful muscles that Derek had. He must be giving of some good scents because little Derek rises to attention. Big Derek wakes up with a groan and a smirk. “Like what you see, mate of mine.”

Derek like this makes Stiles remember their frenzied courtship. Derek and he had been circling each other for weeks fighting and almost kissing. Scott had said they both smelled like a locker room. Finally Derek had just surprised him by stripping and greeting Stiles in nothing but a smile. Stiles had actually dropped to his knees. Derek had made love to him that day. Stiles came 5 times. 

Shaking himself. “You know I do Derek. You are smoking hot.”

The smirk gets bigger and Derek holds his arms out to Stiles. Stiles hesitates. Dr Johnson didn't say anything about no sex. But he's worried he'll give in to Derek if he puts out. Derek's face drops at his wait and something vulnerable and sad comes to his eyes. Stiles gives in and goes to his wolf. Derek's hands are hot and firm on his body. Their mouths meet and they are panting quickly. Stiles pulls away “Is the pack here?” He pants into Derek's face. 

Derek gets a funny look and Stiles thinks he's hot shit. His kisses make it hard for Derek to think. Derek than shakes his head no and Stiles dives back to kissing Derek. They kiss until Derek gets frustrated and growls sending shivers down Stiles' back. Derek roll him onto his back and is lubed up and shoving in with a grunt. Stiles arches back and moans so loud he's happy they don't have neighbors. Derek pulls out and shoves back in throwing his head back and groaning. “So fucking tight for me, Stiles. Made for me.”

He claws at the bedding as Derek wraps his hand around Stiles cock and starts to stroke in time with the thrusts. “My mate. Made for my cock. Taking me so good.” Stiles always looses it fast when Derek talks during sex. “That's right baby. Tighten up for me. Oh yeah Mate. Milking my cum. Gonna fill you so deep. Smell like mine. Mate.”

Stiles turns his head into the comforter and feels tears leaking from his eyes and his orgasm hit him at the same time Derek's does. Everything goes hazy as Derek falls on top of him nuzzling his neck gently. Stiles thinks he falls asleep for a couple minutes then Derek is pull himself up and they both shower. They kiss slowly and wash each other. Stiles starts to feel a part of him relax that hasn't felt this way in a long time. They dry each other off and Stiles helps dress Derek. He goes to his knees and helps slide a pair of briefs up Derek's rock hard legs. He puts his face in to the area between Derek's leg and pelvis and smells the fresh scent of Derek and wants to moan. Derek cups Stiles' cheek with a gentle hand. His wolf pulls him up and kisses him. Derek moves gracefully down on one knee and slips a pair of briefs up Stiles legs, following the movement and standing to capture Stiles mouth. “We'll finish this tonight. I have to work late tonight at the shop. Have to pull more hours for this weekend.”

Stiles pulls back and looks at Derek. “Invite me with you.”  
His voice breaks a bit at the end. Derek just shakes his head. Stiles mood drops. “Work as late as you want I'll just hit the gym for an extra hour tonight. The appointment I had last night. I have another one next Tuesday. I want you to come with me.”

Derek just makes an annoyed face and says “I might have to work or we could be doing a pack night.”

Stiles stands his ground. “You own the shop you can leave work early. And you do pack nights almost every night. This is about us. Pick me for once.”

“Stiles, you're my mate. I picked you. I just want to make my pack happy too.” Derek growls out. 

“Derek, the appointment is relationship counseling and if you don't come with me to it I'm going to leave you.” Stiles ends up shouting. The resulting silence is and shock on Derek's face makes Stiles want to laugh or cry. 

The silence drags on and than Stiles hears a loud thud outside their door. Pulling it open he sees Boyd and Erica coming out of the room they share in the house and Jackson and Lydia behind them. Jackson is whispering to Lydia. A running commentary on what is happening from the look on her face. She at least looks upset. Jackson looks smug. Stiles yells. “Son of a bitch.” And slams the door turning on Derek. “You said that the pack wasn't here.”

Derek looks shell shocked. “You're my mate, Stiles. You can't leave me. Mates are for life.”

“You really think I want to stay with someone who treats me like this? You cancel or don't show up to 75 percent of our dates. You habitually let your betas treat me like crap and make fun of me. Why the hell would I stay with that? I love you and you cut me from the pack. You lie to me about what you're doing and I can't take it anymore.” He grabs his bag and heads out. “Do whatever you want Derek. You haven't needed me in years. You know since I fought like hell for this pack and finally when all of that fear and pain pays off and this place is finally safe I don't get to be a part of it.”

He starts walking down the hall refusing to look at the pack as he leaves the house to Derek yelling his name. He drives to work feeling like he's about to cry the whole time.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had to go back to work. I took a week off to take care of a sick parent. so I'm going to try to keep the chapters going daily but they're not going to be very long. sorry. 
> 
> Oh and in this universe the Alpha pack wasn't bad, they were just hunting the Darach. Who still slept with Derek and tried to get him on her side.

The day passes slowly. Stiles keeps thinking Derek will come by or call but he doesn't. He goes through work without anyone knowing anything is wrong. It's the same talent that allowed him to fight werewolves at night and still get a straight A's during the day. He gets so much work done that even he is impressed with himself. Matt comes by and they chat. “Hey Stiles. We still on for house hunting tomorrow after work?”

“Yeah. Emily is the best. She'll find you just what you're looking for.” He tells the man. Matt leans in and holds Stiles' arm for a minute. 

“Thanks man. I really appreciate how nice everyone has been to me. But I have to ask, are you ok? You seem really off today.” Matt starts to rub his hand up and down on Stiles' arm.

He's been so long without pack cuddles that he leans in a bit to it. “I'm ok. Just have a fight with my boyfriend this morning. It's fine though. We'll get through it.”

They chat a bit more and Matt heads back to the IT department. Stiles goes to the gym and burns off a ton of nervous energy by working out an extra hour. He heads home before showering. He is a little upset to see all the packs cars in the driveway. He gets out and heads inside. Derek is seated on the couch with the pack all around him. Isaac and Erica sitting at his feet with their heads on his knees. Even Scott is cuddling with Derek. None of the wolves look happy to see him. Derek doesn't look shocked anymore. He looks pissed. A little bit of Stiles is happy to get a reaction out of him. Lydia is watching it all with a curious tilt of her head. Like she's finally seeing something interesting.

“I'm going to heat up the steak from last night. You want some?” He asks Derek. 

Derek huffs out an angry breath but doesn't respond. Jackson on the other hand decides to talk. “Damn Stilinski. What the hell is wrong with you? You dump Derek and still show up here?”

“Jackson, I know you were listening so you should know I didn't break up with Derek. Just that I'd like him to come to counseling with me so I can have a healthy and happy relationship with the man I love.” He says while looking at Derek. “You, do not factor into my decision. According to all pack law I outrank you as Derek's mate. You're just his first bite. Derek, your beta is being rude to me.”

Derek's eyes are red but he doesn't do anything. Jackson huff out an laugh and Stiles turns to the kitchen to make dinner. He's heated up everything and starts to eat at the table by himself. He gets his tablet out and gets some work done when Scott comes into the room. “Stiles, are you really going to leave Derek?”

He looks at his friend who is giving him the most puppy dog eyes Stiles has ever seen. “I don't want to. I love him. But I'm not happy. And I haven't been in a long time. Would you stay with Allison if she treated you like Derek treats me?”

Scott's face does this open mouth than blush. Stiles sighs. “Of course you would. Never mind. I shouldn't have asked you that. How about this, would you still hang out with Jackson if he treated Allison like he treats me?”

Scott makes his 'I'm think hard' face. Than he smiles like he found the right answer. “He wouldn't do that. She's pack so he wouldn't insult her.”

Stiles wonders if Scott realizes how cruel he's being. “And there's the rub. I'm not pack. Somewhere along the line I went from someone who stood by you guys to someone one the outside. Derek constantly says how his pack is his family. And I'm not his family.”

“Wait. He always smells so happy when you get here.” Scott says. “Last Friday when you got here he smelled so content it made all of us so happy.”

“Yes Scott, he was here with you while he blew off our 9th date in a row to spend time with you guys who he could have easily made our date then had a movie night with you.” He knows Derek can hear him along with the rest of the pack. “And as happy as you guys were Jackson was still a dick to me. He said this wasn't my house and Derek said jack shit to contradict him. If this isn't my house then why am I here?”

Derek rushes into the room. He looks like he's about to say something than closes his mouth and looks angry. Stiles pinches the bridge of his nose and just waits to see if Derek will actually talk to him. But he doesn't. He finishes his dinner and puts the dishes away. Derek is still standing watching him without saying anything. Stiles hugs him. “I love you. I'm going to bed. I have plans after work tomorrow so work as late as you want.”

He goes upstairs and catches site of the pack all glaring at him except Lydia. She looks thoughtful. One of the wolves must have been doing a running commentary for Allison because the hunter looks angry. But he's not sure who with. He's not sure he cares. 

 

He falls into bed and lets darkness swallow him up. He wakes up groggy and sore. Derek's side of the bed is empty and cold. Stiles does his morning ritual and heads downstairs. He looks around and find the pack sleeping in different sections of the living room. Stiles makes a large pot of coffee for everyone. His one act of sharing with the pack. He leaves for work trying not to wake anyone up. The pack either doesn't wake up or they decide to ignore him. He's not sure if he cares either way. Work is surprisingly easy. All his appointments are fast and he convinces everyone of his plan. He gets approval to redo the travel website for the city. And he convinces the computer company to build the server farm in the county. It will bring so much money to the city. He gets a call from his boss congratulating him. He wants to call Derek and tell him the good news but he realizes that Derek won't care, he hasn't asked about his job in months. 

Matt meets him after work and they drive together in Stiles' Jeep to meet Emily. They meet at a bar and Emily has ordered a round for all of them. They sit down. “Ok boys. Let's start. Matt, what are you looking for in a house.”

He takes a drink. “Well, I want a at least a two bedroom. One and a half baths. I only need one shower/bath but I need at least two toilets. I'm ok with a loft or condo but I would actually prefer a house. I enjoy gardening. I like to build things so a shop or large garage. It can be dated. I can do some of the upgrades myself.”

“Ok, I have a couple lofts in mind and I can look for some house in the area. Let's go.” They walk down the street to the lofts. They go up and look at the same ones that Stiles looked at last week. “Go, look around. Don't be afraid to explore.”

Matt wanders around and walks into one of the bedrooms. Stiles leans in close and whispers. “I know a secret about you.”

Emily turns and looks at him. “What could you possibly know about me?”

He laughs. “Your mom is my therapist. And she told me you know about werewolves.”

He actually doubles over laughing at her face. “What the hell, Stiles??!!”

“Oh god you're face. It's awesome.” He says trying to catch his breath. 

Matt comes back in. “What's so funny?”

“Oh, I just told her that I thought you had a nice ass.” Stiles says conversationally. “She agreed.”

“Stiles!” Emily starts to laugh too. 

Matt blushes and Stiles has to say that he looks good with some color. Matt goes back to looking around the loft and Stiles steps closer to Emily. “Derek is the Alpha.”

She shushes him and they go back to looking around and different lofts. Matt doesn't love any of them. “Ok, I will look for some houses and some more condos for you. Too bad, if you had liked this last one you'd be under Stiles.”

Matt blushes again and they all hug goodbye. Emily doesn't let him walk away her hand like steel on his arm. “We're going to talk.”

They start walking to a local bar and he starts talking. “Soo, in high school I wanted to go find a dead body in the woods with my best friend Scott.....”

He relates his story. Everything from the night Scott was bitten to the Darach, he still feels rage at that bitch seducing Derek, and the Alpha pack. Every big bad that he helped defeat and how he was the one who basically trapped the Alphas and got them to side with the Hale pack, even before the pack was really a pack. Stiles was the one who made pack night mandatory. He was the one who planned the training sessions. And how he was now the one who was outside the pack.

“But that doesn't make any sense.” Emily says. “No Alpha kicks out their mate. That's insane.”

“Well that is why I'm going to your mom for help. I told Derek he had to come or I was going to leave him. Now none of the pack is talking to me. I actually think I prefer it to the snarky comments.” He turns his head in a curious manner. “How do you know about wolves?”

She smiles. “My grandmother was an emissary. We were raised pack adjacent. We weren't in the pack but we knew all of them. So we learned about them and their customs. It was like having cousins who were from a different country. They passed as human but you would catch them doing some off once in a while.”

He laughs and they start to point out times they noticed wolves messing up in public. He ends the night with a plan to go look at paint colors on Saturday with her. “I'll get the developer to give you a deal on the labor.”

“It's a deal.” He hugs her good night and heads home. 

 

He is a little worried when he pulls down the long driveway and there aren't any cars waiting. But maybe the pack decided to go to their own houses for a night.

Stiles grabs his bag and heads inside. It's dark and no one is there. He looks around and heads to the kitchen where he sees a hand written note. “Derek decided to start the weekend early. We are heading to the pack meeting. Sorry.” Signed Scott. 

Stiles starts to feel his chest tighten. He feels like the room is spinning and turns to stumble to the wall and slide down it. He pulls out his phone and calls Derek. It goes straight to voice mail. “Derek, you're gone? What the hell. You don't stay and talk to me. Coward.”

His voice had started weak and broken and he was proud that he had ended it on a strong point. He pulls himself up to his feet and walks slowly up the stairs. He goes on habit since he can't see through all the tears welling up in his eyes. He falls onto his bed and buries his face in Derek pillow. Sobbing he thinks he hasn't felt this bad since his mother died.


	8. Chapter 8

Stiles stretches awake. He looks at Derek's side and shudders. He had cried for almost three hours last night. He didn't have anymore tears. He had to get shit done today. He has meetings all day. He showers and makes a big breakfast. He glances and still sees the mess from the last pack night in the living and dining room. He shakes his head and heads to work. His first appointment is waiting for him when the gets there. It's a marathon until lunch. He has his assistant bring him lunch at his desk so he can go over plans for an updated website for tourism. He grabs his food. And goes over his budget for the new site. He will be meeting with a couple local designers and some photographers. He likes that he can throw himself into work. 

Emily calls him around 4 and tells him that the title company called and he can go in on next Wednesday to sign the final papers and get the keys. He does a fist punch in the air and his assistant teases him until he gets off work. He swings by the store on his way home. Coming home to an empty house is a little sad when it's so big but he shakes the feeling off and makes his dinner. He is on his third beer when he hears a car pulling into the driveway. Glancing outside he curses to see that it's Peters car. 

The older wolf comes inside. “Good evening, Stiles. How are you doing?”

He glares at the man. “I'm fine. What do you want?”

Peter grabs a beer and sips it. “I can't look after my Alpha's mate? I'm hurt, Stiles. I really am. After all we've been though you still doubt me.”

He actually laughs. “Cut the crap Peter. What do you want?”

Peter sighs and stops looking charming. He just looks tired now. “I wanted to make sure you were still here. It seems like my nephews incopetence has once again come out to play. He is sorry, Stiles. I wanted to check on you before I went to the pack meeting.” Peter growls. “Don't know why he's meeting with that Alpha. Sorry excuse if you ask me. Her parents would be pissed to see the wreck she's made their pack.”

“What do you mean?” Peter has piqued his curiosity. 

“Her pack used to be much larger. Now it's a fourth of the size and she's looking for a smaller territory? It makes no sense and Derek just took her word for it. Let her take some unclaimed territory so he doesn't actually give her anything but to any pack it looks like he's letter her become a neighbor.” Peters voice goes deeper. “If she makes any mistakes it'll reflect badly on Derek. I just don't like it. She's after something. And I think it's my nephew.”

Stiles isn't surprised at Peter's statement but knowing someone else sees it too makes Stiles flinch. If I was all in his head it could be ignored. But it's not. “So what are you doing to do about it? I clearly can't. Derek has made it very obvious where I stand in his priorities.” He says and motions to the empty house around them. 

“I'll talk to him. But you have to stay with him. He'll make the wrong decisions without your input.” Peter tells him.

“What input? He hasn't asked my opinion or told me about a pack issue in years.” He snaps. “They wouldn't listen to me. He doesn't listen to me. I begged him to open up and he doesn't do it.”

“How's the house hunt going?” Peter raises an eye brow. 

Taking a deep breath he decides to tell the truth. “I already bought a condo. I get the keys next Wednesday.”

Peters eyes flash blue. “So efficient. Where is it?”

“In the new Park building. A 2 bedroom. Modern, nice. Mine.” He growls out that last word and looks around at a house with nothing of his in it. “Are you going to tell him?”

“I know you don't fully trust me. My nephew doesn't trust me. He should. Dying and coming back can make you look at your life. I wasn't the best person before the fire. I was a dick to Derek when he was younger. But I had grown up a lot. I had a mate. We were going to have a child.” Peter has never told him this part of his story. “After the fire I was insane. That's what I was, it was not who I was. You know what insanity really is, Stiles. You've seen it up close.”

Stiles gulps. Peter is talking about his mom. “Even when she was insane, she was still your mom. Right?” He nods. “That's what Derek can never do. He calls me uncle. But he can't forgive what I did, so I'll never be his uncle. I'm lucky I get to be pack. Unwilling to change is one of his worst and best characteristics. Unwilling to change unless he was made to. A headstrong boy who was convinced everything he did was right. Talia always had to punish him the hard way to get him to learn anything. Leaving his toys out, they get taken away and given to the other kids. Won't put your dishes away, eat at the counter. He always took the longest to learn anything new, to mature. So no, I won't tell him. He has to finally grow up. We've been letting him get away with too much. Letting things go on too long. Growing apart instead of growing together. Losing you will kill him. But I was better after I died. And mates are more important then pack. He needs to remember this.”

Peter gets up and looks haunted for a minute before nodding to Stiles and walking out. Stiles finishes his beer and breaths out confused huff. He just got Peter on his side. But he has now idea what that means. But he's curious. Taking out his phone he calls Chris Argent. “Hey, Chris, it's Stiles.”

“Ahh, Allison isn't here.” He hears on the line.

“I'm not looking for her. I want you to do me a favor.” He can hear the man grumbling but he keeps talking. “I need you to find out everything you can about the Stevenson Pack. History, current event's. All of it.”

Chris grumbles some more but agrees. 

Going to bed he sleeps in the middle of the bed. 

The next morning is fun. He meets Emily for breakfast and they they look at paint colors. He decides on 'Cold River' blue for his bedroom and then a light gray 'Essential Shade' for the main area of the loft with a dark blue 'Resolute Blue' accent wall. He did a light gray for the spare room. Emily calls the developer and they get it processed. He whines at the price they quote him but it's way better then a couple of the others he's researched. Yes he researched the other prices. Emily laughs at him. “Hey, let's good look at furniture. You need living room stuff.”

They head to a store and are laughing and looking at different pieces. He ends up finding a great set. Light brown leather. It'll match everything about the loft. He's so excited. They are laying on one of the couches testing it out and Stiles is trying to convince Emily to buy a large side table for his place. “Come on, it's not that expensive and it goes with the couch. It'll look so good in the loft.”

She laughingly shoves him. “No, it's $400. You can buy it yourself. Besides, I already bought your house warming present.”

Stiles laughs with her and sigh. “Fine. I guess I'll just be broke for a while. You're buying my dinner next time we go out.”

He looks at the furniture and realizes that he hasn't felt this relaxed in a while. He's moving forward. Of course the universe has to slap him around. “Stiles!?”

He turns and looks at Allison and Lydia walking towards them. “Hi ladies. How are you doing?”

Emily turns to him and whispers in his ear. “Which is which?”

They two girls move closer and Stiles points them out. “Emily, this is Lydia with the red hair and Allison with the brown. Girls, this is Emily.”

The girls all say hi. Lydia steps forward. “Lovely furniture. Are you buying them, Emily?”

Emily turns to him and smirks as if to ask 'are you going to tell them?' He playfully shoves her shoulder. “No. I am.”

The girls both look shocked and than Lydia gets flustered. “I know you're upset with Derek. Even I think taking off early was lame but you can't replace his furniture without asking him.”

He laughs as he thinks of the furniture at the Hale house. Furniture he had no say in picking out. “I'm not. I'm buying them for my new place.”

He wished he had gotten his phone out to take a picture of their faces. It's a mix between horror and stupid. Stiles actually starts to laugh so hard that he almost rolls off of the couch. He pulls himself up and leans against Emily. Allison is glaring at them. He wants to blow her a kiss just to see what happens. But he decides to keep it civil. “What are you guys going here?”

Lydia grabs Allison's arm. He wonders what she thought the huntress was going to do. Turning back to Stiles the redhead raises an eyebrow. “We're buying new furniture for the pool house. Jackson's parents gave us a good budget to decorate. They want us to feel comfortable there.”

“How nice for you. You should thank his parents. It's great that they have the money to help you out with that.” He know he's being a dick but he loves it. 

She flushes at his insult. Allison steps forward. “His parents are nice. They want Lydia to feel at home there.”

Stiles doesn't hold back. “Seems a bit hypocritical to me since Jackson never seemed to act like I should feel at home in my own home. So I went and bought a home for myself. Now I have to decorate it.”

Allison responds. “Of course it's your home too, Stiles.”

“Really? I guess I went deaf for a few minutes cause I didn't hear you stand up for me and tell Jackson it was mine. I'm so sorry.” Stiles voice drips sarcasm. “Or any of the other times that Jackson was being a dick, I didn't hear you say anything. Or all of those invites to hang out with you guys so we could reconnect as friends since we've clearly haven't spent any time together in forever. I guess I should get my hearing checked since I never heard those.”

Allison looks hurt by rally's. “You never asked me to hang out either.”

Stiles turns his head slighting to the side at her words. “True. But friendships are supposed to go both ways. And ours stopped a long time ago. When I stopped being invited to pack events did either of you ask about it or protest? From the look of superior arrogance on both your faces it didn't even occur to you.”

Their faces turn to shock at his mention of pack in front of a stranger. Emily just smiles. “Don't worry. I know about wolf packs.”

Lydia fumes. “You told her?”

“Well, I told her I knew werewolves but she already knew about the whole 'werewolves are real' thing.” He says like he's talking about the weather. He's having way too much fun pissing the girls off. 

Emily helps him. “My grandmother was an emissary for a pack south of Sacramento. I grew up around werewolves. That's why Stiles is using my mom as his therapist. She works with people who are in the know about the supernatural.”

They both drop their jaws and Stiles and Emily giggle at them until a salesman comes over. “Can I help you guys?”

Stiles turns and laughingly says “Yes. I just bought my first place and I need a living room set. What deal can you give me on this set?”

They haggle for a while and then Stiles gets the whole thing for $500 under what it was all listed at. They shake hands and the salesman goes to write it up. He turns back to Lydia and Allison and raises an eyebrow at Lydia's questioning look. “What?”

“You're actually doing this? You're leaving Derek?” There is disbelief in her voice.

“I don't want to leave Derek. I'm leaving the rest of you. I love Derek, but I'm 26 now and it's crazy to stay with a guy who's friends treat you like crap. If he's not going to stop you for being dicks to me now, there's no reason to think that staying with him for another 7 years would make a difference. And I get that all relationships have ups and downs but when your partner is so lax in their treatment of you. It's time to do something. So I'm moving out.”

The salesman comes back with papers to sign and Stiles hands over his card. He sets up a time for them to deliver the furniture to the new place. He again shakes the mans hand and nods to Emily that they are done. Before he leaves the store he turns to the girls. “How are they doing? Still alive?”

Allison responds “Of course they're still alive. Scott checked in an hour ago. The Stevenson pack is training with us.”

“How nice that your mate calls you back. It must be nice feeling like a priority to him.” He says to her. Lydia looks like she's about to say something but Stiles is done. “Later ladies.”

He and Emily head out and Stiles leans in to her. “Let's go eat our feelings.”

The rest of the day is actually pretty good. Emily texts some of their mutual friends and they go out to dinner and everyone pressures him to have a house warming party. He agrees. “Ok, in a couple weeks when I have it set up. I will have a party. I'll even text you guys a list of things I need since you're going to be coming you can at least buy be stuff.”

They all laugh and a promise to come over when it's set up. He looks around and knows that none of these people are best friends. But they are fun and he feels relaxed and respected with them. They all talk about their careers and he can see the respect in their eyes when he discusses his. It's pretty awesome. 

The weekend passes quickly with him scheduling movers next Friday. He doesn't want to wait to move. Monday arrives and Derek is still not there. He sends a text asking if the wolf is still alive. He doesn't get a response. Tuesday morning he wakes up alone. He writes a note with the appointment and address. Sends a text with the same. Work is great that day. He gets in a rhythm and gets tons done. He schedules Friday off. 

He never hears from Derek. Driving the hour and a half to the appointment. He feels the pit of his stomach drop more and more as the minutes tick off waiting for his session. When Dr Johnson walks out to the lobby Stiles actually feels like screaming. Nothing shows on her face. “Okay, looks like it'll just be us today. Come on in.”

He gets up and heads in alone. Thinking that might be a common thing from now on.


	9. Chapter 9

Sitting down on the couch he finds that he can't sprawl out. He wants to. But he feels wounded inside. Dr Johnson sits at her desk with a compassionate face that is still oddly emotionless. It must be her professional face. 

“Ok, it looks like Derek isn't coming so let's talk about that.” She raises her eye brow. “How does that make you feel?”

He laughs a bit at her wording. “Way to sound like a Doc, Doc. It makes me feel like I have a stab wound in my stomach. I hate this feeling.”

“Have you explained to Derek how you'd been feeling?” She asks. 

He nods his head. “I've begun telling him. Not that it seems to be doing much good. He left a day early to go pack camping the the Stevenson pack and hasn't been back as of this morning. I'm not sure if he is even back yet.”

“Has he been able to communicate anything to you?” She says. 

He shakes his head. “No, the only thing he said was that I was his mate and I can't leave him. He seems to keep trying to but never gets anything out.”

“Well, to play devils advocate. Was he ever a big talker?” She ask him. “If he wasn't, and I'm betting he's not, he might not know how to tell you what he's feeling.”

Stiles wants to yell that Derek is a grown man but he reins himself in. “He's not. Never was. But he's a grown man. He should have learned by now.”

“True, he should have. But we tend to fall back into old habits when stressed out. Now from what I've learned about his history he's probably damage on a huge level and would have needed professional help years ago.” She smiles sadly. “He probably was doing something to help manage things, I'm thinking having you around helped with that. But now that everything has calmed down for years and he's been with you for almost 8 years, he's fallen into complacency. Sadly, it happens from time to time among long term marriages. I know you're not technically married, but for the intents of the study that was done, you basically are. That is why there are marriage counselors.”

He nods along with her. She is making sense. “Unfortunately, without him being involved in the process we can't work on your joint issues. But we can work on some of yours.”

He sputters out a “What?”

“Well, no one is perfect. There is always room for improvement.” She says with a wiry smile. “Ok, time for brutal honesty. You ready? For starters. You have some self esteem issues. You willing let people who you love push you away. This rarely happens to people who are fully emotionally healthy and mature. Now we're going to work on some techniques that will help with that. When you get home I want you to make a list of all the things that you think are good about yourself and when you get up in the morning. I want you to read it to yourself out loud in the mirror.” She raises her hand to cut off his snort. “It's very simple but it's proven to help with self esteem.”

“Now another issue is your hesitance in dealing with a problem. It's incredibly common so don't worry that you're unusual. Your hesitancy helped aid in you becoming distant with the pack. I'm not blaming you I'm just stating this is an issue that is common among long term relationships that drift apart. Something little happens and then it happens again and again until it's a big deal. Most marriages have it happen. So we're going to work on some exercises where you work on being more assertive. I know from talking to Emily that you have few issues asserting yourself at work and during a deal. You know how to haggle and get your way. We're going to go over situations and have you respond.” She gets a paper out and they begin going over situations. Dirty dishes, missed appointments and hurt feelings. By the end of it he feels emotionally wrung out having to telling an imaginary person who is doing all this to him off. “Good, you're being polite but firm. You don't have to be rude to be assertive. Good.”

“Thanks. That was kinda hard imagining Derek or the pack in those scenarios. Now anyway that will actually translate to real life?” He asks. 

“Well, these are all things you listed as complaints with your relationship with Derek. Now without him being here I can't give a complete analysis of his behavior but I can say that not showing up is very immature and can move forward on making you as healthy as you can be and support in your endeavors to become better.” She says. “Now from our conversation before I noticed that you threw yourself into work when you started to drift from the pack. I want you to branch out from just working. From what Emily told me you've been spending more time with friends which is wonderful. Keep branching out. Maybe find a hobby group or volunteer somewhere. This will allow you to make more social connections that will strengthen your support system. You should be able to find plenty of oportunities online but stay off those hook up sites.”

“What? No. I wouldn't, huh.” He feels like a scolded teen again. 

“Derek might be an ass but he's also an Alpha werewolf and until you guys sort out what is happening any random hooks ups you have will be in danger of him losing his shit and attacking any guy or girl who smells like you and sex.” She says. 

“Wow, Emily definitely takes after you.” He laughs. He shakes her hand and enjoys that he ended the session on a good note. 

The drive home is pleasant. He starts thinking about his list of good traits. He's not use to doing that so he'll ask his dad when they have lunch tomorrow. It'll be nice. He pulls into his driveway and is annoyed to see all the packs cars waiting. He gets out and walks in to the main hall. Turning he sees the whole pack sans Peter sitting in the living room watching him. Derek stands up. “You bought a house?”

“Oh, technically it's a condo but yes. Who told you?” He asks. 

“Lydia and Allison called me on Sunday to tell me.” The wolf growls out. 

Stiles mind races into a dozen different directions. “Hmm, you find out I bought a condo on Sunday and it takes you til Tuesday to come back and discuss it with me. I'd say I'm surprised but after this many times where I came second I'm not anymore. I'm not your priority. I haven't been in years. So I'm moving out. I bought a place when Jackson said this wasn't my home. And you didn't correct him. So I decided to get a home. Because if the person I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with doesn't stand up to me when one of his friends is blatantly insulting me then what the hell am I doing with them? Seriously Derek. If after 7 almost 8 years I'm being neglected this badly why on earth would I want to stay and risk it getting worse?”

Derek looks gutted and the pack looks just as upset. “Stiles, you're my mate.”

Stiles pinches the bridge of his nose but it doesn't seem to stem the headache that is forming. Sighing in frustration he just raises his eyebrows “Ok, that's it? 'I'm your mate.' That's why I should stay? Derek, you're a shitty boyfriend. And I have to say boyfriend because when I proposed you said no. You said that you loved me so and cherished and would show me everyday that I was your mate. Well dude, you fucked up. I don't know what happened and I'm done asking since you never talk to me. Somewhere along the line you seemed to switch from my boyfriend to a roommate who I have sex with. And I'm done. I deserve more.”

“God, Stilinski. Do you need a Midol.?” Jackson snaps. “We could get you a rag.”

Stiles just blinks at the insult. He looks at Derek who is just looking at him with pain in his eyes. He keeps waiting for Derek to say something but the wolf doesn't. So he walks up and grabs Derek's chin. Raising his voice and turning Derek's head so he's speaking directly to his ear. “THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! Jackson just insulted me. What are you going to do?”

Derek just whines “Stiles.”

“Really? That's it? Fuck it.” Turning to look at Jackson. “No, I don't need a Midol since I am not a women, so I do not menstrual cramping. Now I know you are a dick, but saying such misogynistic things just makes you sound like a raging douche bag. Lydia, you're a crappy excuse for a feminist. Your boyfriend makes jokes like that, he clearly doesn't respect women. I hope being with him is worth knowing that he would say that shit around your future daughters. Scott! Allison! Here's your chance to speak up and defend your friend.” Put his finger to his ear he leans toward them. “Nothing? Perfect. Just what I expected. Way to live up to our friendship. You're all shitty friends and I'm glad I'm moving out.”

He turns and is halfway out of the room when Jackson growls. “Fuck you, Stilinski. You're just a fucking human so why should I care what you think?”

Looking back at Derek he just shakes his head sadly when the wolf remains silent. “Great management skills there Derek. He just insulted your mate and two of your pack. Still going to do nothing?”

The wolf looks upset but he doesn't say anything. “Fuck all of you. I'm done. I was going to wait til this weekend but fuck it.”

Grabbing his phone he presses send on his dads contact. He get's the voice mail and starts walking up the stairs. “Hey pops. You're probably working so won't get this for a while. Don't be surprised when you see me sleeping in your spare room.”

He's almost to his room when he hears Lydia start in on Jackson. Leaning over the railing he yells downstairs. “Too little too late, Lyds. The time to speak up would have been when I was down there.”

He laughs a little at the silence and pulls out a suitcase and starts going through his closet picking out some outfits for the week. He has a meeting at the mayors office to go over some budget concerns so he packs two suits. He fills the suitcase with enough cloths for a week and heads back downstairs. He's a little gratified that everyone seems upset but no on is saying or doing anything to stop him. He grabs his bag for work and heads out to his car. He's a little shocked when Derek runs out after he's loaded the suitcase into his jeep. “Stiles, please don't go. I'll do anything.”

“Derek, you've done nothing. I begged you to open up to me. I begged you to let me go with you last weekend or the weekend before. I have made date after date hoping that you would actually show up. I have given you chance after chance to show me that I actually mattered to you. And you've done nothing. There is nothing that makes me think you actually want me to stay other then words. And words are cheap. I begged you to come to counseling with me. I told you I would leave you if you didn't and you didn't bother to show up. Instead you stayed with people who actively treat me badly. You've made your choice over and over and over. And I am never the one you choose. I should be. Goodbye Derek. If you actually feel like making this think, us, work, the appointment with the counselor is every Tuesday at 6. I'll keep you going. If you show up great. If not, that will be a choice too.” Climbing into his jeep he drives off trying to hold on to his anger to keep from crying. He did it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The characters make some comments about something Stiles did. In this alternative universe, the Alpha pack wasn't evil, they just wanted to get the Darach.

Walking into his old home he is stuck by how little has changed. His dad left has the same living room furniture. It's run down but looks comfortable. Huffing down onto the couch he looks around a feels a knot in his chest relax at the sight of his family pictures. Looking at a picture of his mom he no longer feels the sharp pain of loss, just a dull ache. “Hey mom. So my boyfriend turned out to be lazy and kind of incompetent at the job. I'm betting Dad wasn't this bad at it.”

Getting up he grabs his bags and heads to the guest room AKA his old room. He had moved straight from his college apartment into Derek's house. He had never lived in his dad's house as an adult. He dumps his bags in his old room and moves about the house. His dads room is the same as he remembers. His mom's bottle of Chanel N.5 sitting on his dresser. He picks it up and holds it close to his nose. The hint of scent reminds him of warm loving hugs. He almost feels phantom arms around him. He really wishes she was here to give him some advice. He thinks for a while and looking at the time. Using his phone he looks up the location of Melissa's phone. It was his idea in high school to sync all of them for GPS in case of emergencies. She's at her house. He hops in his car and drives to her house. Scott's car isn't there. Not that he expected Scott to be there. The wolf and Allison had their own place. 

He walks up to the front door. Knocking on the door he's happy to find that she answers quickly but not in a hurried state. So she wasn't asleep or panicked. “Stiles? What's wrong?”

He smiles sadly. “Hey Melissa. You busy?”

“No, sweetie. Come on in.” She opens the door all the way and Stiles heads in. She looks at him and with the same 'mom' sense his mom had she just nods to the kitchen and starts to make a pot of tea. “So, what's up, kiddo? It's not a pack business because you're not part of the pack anymore. So I'm guessing the whole thing has hit train wreck levels?”

He does is best impression of a fish opening and closing his mouth until a “Ahhuhh?” comes out. She rolls her eyes and gets mugs out. “Kids.” He can feel the judgment coming from her and sighs giving her a 'go ahead' gesture. “Well, you only come to me when you want to talk to your mom. I keep a weekly lunch date with your father. So I know some of what's going on in your life. Congratulations on buying your own home. And finally Scott hasn't told a Stiles story in a very long time. So, sit drink tea and start talking.”

He starts with the beginning. How good it was. How he felt loved and valued and then little by little it was eroded into what it was and his eventual blow up. “I have no idea how it got this way. It's like a tiny pain added to everyday until all of a sudden you realize you want to scream in pain every minute of every day.”

She nods with eyes that hold sympathy but are still hard. “Do you remember when things got bad between Scott's dad and I?” He looks away not wanting her to know how much he saw. “I know you do, you were always noticing things that no little boys should see. Old eyes your mom used to say.”

He nods his head. “I did see some of it. You guys were pretty intense towards the end.”

She just smiles. “That's how it ends. But it didn't start like that. It started good. We were in love. Than slowly it got bad. He'd come home after hitting the bar and he would be mostly good, a fun drunk, than it got to be every night. And he stopped being a fun drunk. He never crossed the line. But I saw one day that it was never going to change unless I forced it. Heard you got a counselor?”

He nods his head. “She's good. Knows about werewolves. Derek hasn't come to any of the sessions.”

“Keep inviting him.” She raises her hand and cuts off his protest. “He hasn't crossed the final line and done something that was really unforgivable. So you work on it. It must be hard on the other side. Thinking everything is ok but knowing it can't be but not how to fix it. If I could have I would go back and make Scott's father and I try harder, started earlier to fix what was wrong.”

“Fine. Wait, how do you know he hasn't crossed an unforgivable line.” He ask. 

“Because he's not dead and you're not trying to hide his body.” She says with a straight face. 

“My dad wouldn't kill Derek. He only threatened that when we started dating.” He laughs. 

She turns her head and looks at him with eyes that don't hold any humor. “Stiles, I wasn't talking about your father. This world you guys live in now is kinda terrifying. But I always worried less knowing you had Scott's back. I know he's the werewolf but I saw what you did when you realized Jennifer was the one killing people you didn't hesitate. You went to Derek's where she was and when she turned her back. You hit her with the bat and gave her the the Alpha pack in return for an alliance. You were ruthless to protect what you love.”

“I wasn't ruthless. I was practical. She was bad, they just wanted her. I did what was needed.” He says. “She would have used the pack as canon fodder against the Alphas and she was killing people. It wasn't a hard choice.”

“That's what I mean. You do what is needed.” She lays her hand over his on the table. He fights the urge to pull it away. Other than his dad he's not used to parental affection. “So I know that if Derek did something unforgivable in your eyes there wouldn't be any of this indecision in your behavior. You'd be gone and his house would more than likely be on fire. You have a vindictive side.”

He nods along with her words. “So I'm not a total idiot for wanting him to magically show up with flowers and a ring?”

She laughs “No. Not at all. I still want Scott's father to show up and be sober. You were with him for a 3rd of your life. You learned who you were when you were with him. You just have to relearn how to be someone without him. It sucks. Now get out. I have to be up early for work and so do you. Adulting is hard.”

He hugs her and doesn't let go for a minute then drives to his dads home. He's feeling dead tired. He falls into bed and doesn't have anymore thoughts until morning.


	11. Chapter 11

Stiles comes awake with a start of surprise and looks around at the unfamiliar room. It takes a minute for his mind to piece together where he is. It's been this way for the past two mornings. He stumbles downstairs to the coffee pot and is happy to see that it's already made and hot. Pouring himself a cup he sits and drinks until he wakes up enough to realize his dad is there too. Smiling over at him he laughs at his dads face. “I love you, son but please tell me you weren't this oblivious in the mornings when you were out hunting things that go bump in the night. Because I'm not sure I can handle thinking about you like this while in danger.”

“Hey, I'll have you know I was awesome even without my coffee.” They both laugh and Stiles feels like a new person. He misses Derek but it's been nice getting to be around his dad so much. 

“So when is your appointment to sign the final papers and get the keys?” His dad asks. 

“Trying to get rid of me?” He jokes. His dad just throws dish cloth at him. “It's at 10. So I'll head out in a little while. Then go by the house and pack the rest of the day. The movers are coming tomorrow at 9am and then I'll be at the new place officially by that night.”

His dad smiles proudly at him. “Buying your first home. God son, I remember when your mom and I brought you home to our first apartment. And now you're moving into your own home. I'm so damn proud of you, Stiles.”

He blinks away tears as his dad pulls him into a rough embrace banging his back. “Thanks dad. I'm proud of me too.”

They keep hugging for a minute longer and break away awkwardly. “So does Derek know you're coming by today?”

“No. He hasn't responded to any of my calls. But I'm not worried about today. Little worried about tomorrow. Bringing movers to the house.” He says. 

Hi dad just shakes his head. “You've been here three days and he hasn't stopped by to see you. That's a sign.”

He just smiles sadly. “Well, from how the leaves have all been crushed outside the window of my old room. I have a feelings he's been outside each night. Just hasn't had the balls to come inside yet.”

“Fucking idiot.” His dad sigh. Stiles agrees and hugs his dad one more time before the Sheriff head to the office. 

He hops in a shower and before he knows it he's meeting Emily at the Title company. He spends the next hour signing papers and going over the loan plan. After an hour they hand him a set of keys and a ton of paperwork. He sits in his jeep with the door open looking a little shocked while Emily laughs at him while handing him a packet of paperwork for the co-op association. “Well, you did it. You're officially a home owner. How does it feel?”

He makes the dead fish look and just sighs. “Freaking terrified. But also kind of amazing. I have a home. You want to go see it?”

“Wish I could but I have a showing in an hour that I have to get ready for. But this weekend? I'll bring the beers.” She hugs him goodbye.

He waves and drives to Derek's house. There aren't any of the packs cars but Stiles still feels apprehensive at being here. He had felt so relaxed at his dads house. It had felt like being home again. A feeling he hadn't felt in a while. He didn't know how bad it had become until he had left. Shrugging off the feeling he heads inside. Looking at the living room he sees the mess the pack left. Again shrugging he heads upstairs and goes hit his old room. He pulls out a large suitcase and starts to pull out his cloths and pack them away. He quickly fills the suit case and starts on a second. When they are full he drags them out to his jeep. He goes downstairs to the basement and grabs a couple empty bins from his last move. He sits on the box of kitchen pots and pans and thinks about how happy he had been when hi moved in. Derek had taken him on the dining room table and the pack had teased them all day. Derek had been smug at all the comments. Stiles shakes his head and lets the memories goes. He's not sure how it all went so wrong. It was so slow he's not even sure when it happened. 

Grabbing the empty bins he goes back up to his room and fills them with the rest of his cloths. He'll lay the suits on top of his bags in the car for the drive. Taking the only picture that he has displayed from the bedside table, one of his mom holding a newborn him. He puts it gently on top of his cloths and closes the bin. Hauling them all out to his jeep loads them in. The drive to his new building is good. He pulls into a guest spot and goes to look for the office. His paperwork says that the co-op already has a guy he's supposed to talk to. 

He wanders around for a minute when he hears “Mr Stilinski?” 

He turns to see a man about his age coming to him. “Hi, call me Stiles. You're from the co-op?”

“Yeah, we have the freight elevator set up in the back. You'll have to share it with the work grew today and tomorrow but it's larger then the main elevator.” The man shows him around the main floor. “There's your parking spot, you can use the two by the freight elevator for the next couple days while you unload stuff. And have the movers park there. The mail boxes are there. The HOA fees are due on the 5th and here is a list of numbers in case you have any questions. Sorry about the rush but I have a mountain of paper work for purchase orders. I work for the developing company.”

He shakes the mans hand and watching him go off to his office. He passes the elevator and grabs the dolly that's waiting there. He loads up two of his bins and moves them up to his new place. Getting off at the 3rd floor he looks to the left and sees some of the unfinished units. Walking past them to his loft he opens the door and looks around, it's perfect. The colors are just what he wanted. The kitchen is just how he likes it. He leaves the dolly by the door and walks around his new place. Dragging his hand over the quartz island as he passes by he smiles at the habit of scent marking. He's lives with wolves too long. Going to his room he looks at the blue on the walls and beams at home much he loves it. His bathroom is just amazing, he opens the spot where the laundry will go and almost falls over. There is a new set of washer/dryer with a red bow on it and a letter. “Mr Stilinski. Welcome to your new home.” 

He smiles at the gesture than really looks at the appliances. They're nice but not super high end. The developer probably got a deal on them and it's nice thing to do to cement loyalty. Good idea. He is happy to see he won't have to buy his own set this weekend. He had been worried about that. He spends the next half hour unloading his jeep and put the picture on the kitchen counter. He'll move it to the bedroom when he gets a table. He laughs at the site of his suits hanging alone in his walk in closet. He locks up his place and heads to the garage. Hoping his car he drives back to the house. He can do a couple more trips today. On the drive he calls the furniture store and arranges a time for them to drop off his new living room set tomorrow after the movers will be gone. 

He pulls into the long driveway and is a little apprehensive at the site of Derek's car waiting there. He heads inside and sees the wolf sitting at the dining room table looking at him with tears in his eyes. “You've already started moving out?”

“Yes, Derek. I am. I told you I was. I got the keys to my home this morning. I already moved some cloths over.” He says trying to not start a fight. He doesn't want to ruin his happy mood. 

Derek makes a whimper sound. “Just like that? 7 years is done just like that? The life we built? All of it?”

Ok, good mood over. “What life, Derek? The one were you make dates with me that you don't show up to? Or where you say you have a pack issue and I get home and find it was a pizza and movie night? That that is more important than a date with your husband? Sorry. I'm not your husband. You said no when I proposed since, I quote 'being my mate is more then just a marriage Stiles, it's even deeper'. God, I was a fucking idiot for believing you.”

“It is. Being my mate means more then just being my husband. It's more important to me.” Derek is up and moving to him. Stiles fights his instincts to hold his arms open for the wolf. 

Stiles moves to the side not letting Derek move in to scent mark him. “I think the terrifying part if you believe that. Derek, think about us, look around this house. What part of it is mine? I try to put a picture of my family up and you take it down saying it doesn't belong. That my life doesn't belong here. Derek you built a house and didn't ask my anything about how I wanted my home to look like, what I needed in a home. Who the fuck does that? Oh yeah, a guy who let's his friends insult me and than tells me I should be nicer to them so they'll feel comfortable doing it. Dick.” 

 

“I just want my pack to feel safe here, Stiles.” Derek whines. In another setting Stiles would laugh at hearing Derek whine about anything. Now it just sounds annoying. “They're supposed to be happy when they are with their Alpha.”

“Well what about me? They get to be happy and I get to be miserable. Great plan there Derek. About as good as sleeping with Jennifer was.” He knows it's a low blow but he still thinks Derek is a dick for not defending him. “If I hadn't stopped her she would have butchered three of your precious betas. I fought for them and now they treat me like I am nothing. Because you let them. They follow your lead, Derek, they look to you to tell them how to act. And you seem to think as long as you fuck me at night we're ok. We're not. We haven't been ok in a long time.”

He goes to the stairs and sits on them looking up at Derek. He takes a deep breath and reins in his anger. He doesn't want this to be a shouting match. He's doesn't have the energy for that. “I don't know when it really started but at some point we stopped being a couple. I want us get back to what we were but I really don't know how. That's why I wanted us to go to counseling, but you didn't show up. You continue to show me that I'm not your first priority. And maybe that's ok for someone else, but it's not for me. I don't want to stay with someone for the rest of my life who is always going to constantly side with others before he is on my side. This has nothing to do with werewolves. This is about being with someone who's friends don't treat me right. No one should stay with a man who's friends treat me like your pack treats me. Look around Derek, what pictures of me are here? No wonder Jackson feels like it's not my home. There's nothing of me here. You don't even have any pictures of me with the pack. I can see pictures of you and your family and you and the pack. But nothing with me. I'm not leaving to punish you. I'm leaving to give us a chance to get back to what we were.”

Standing up he moves and pulls Derek into a hug. The wolf holds Stiles tightly and he holds him back. Stiles is shocked to hear sniffles as Derek whimpers out his name. “Stiles.”

“I love you Derek. I love you.” He soothes Derek and strokes his back. He's not lying. He does love Derek. “It's not the end, it's just a break to get better.”

“I don't want you to leave. Please stay.” Derek says and Stiles can hear the tears in Derek's voice. A part of him is happy to know that Derek is finally talking. He waits but Derek doesn't say anything else. No promises of a better life. He's a little relieved that Derek doesn't make up any pretty lies. 

“I have to. If I stay we'll fall back into the same routines we have been in and that only seems to make you happy. This isn't working.” He pushes Derek back. He knows the wolf lets him since he has no real change of overpowering the man. “The meeting is every Tuesday if you want to join me.”

He heads back outside. If he stays he'll either break down crying or give in and let Derek make him stay. The drive to his dads house is silent. The emotions screaming in his head. He pulls into his childhood home and feels wrung out. He doesn't bother to eat anything he just goes straight to bed. 

He was startled awake in the morning. “Hey son, you should hop in a shower. You're supposed to meet the movers in an hour. I'll make some breakfast for us.”

“You don't have to do that dad.” He mumbled as he pull himself up and started pulling some jeans and a shirt out of his overnight bag. 

“My son is moving all he owns into his new place. I can make him breakfast.” His dad yells over his shoulder on the way down the stairs. 

He showers and heads down to meet his dad. He's struck by how little has change in the kitchen from when he was in high school. It makes him feel safe. He sits at his spot and drinks his coffee while his dad carry's over two plates. They eat in comfortable silence for a total of a minute until Stiles ADHD break it. “Ok, so I might have a couple freak outs over the next couple days but I'm really excited about having my own place.”

“Stiles, you're ending a 7 year relationship. It's natural to have a couple freak out. I can remember Melissa here every couple weeks after she kicked Scott's dad out. Constantly thinking she was ruining both of their lives. It's ok.” His dad says with a calm tone. 

“Derek was never that bad, dad.” He defends his mate. Scott's dad was mean drunk.

“True, but that's not a good enough reason to stay with someone. There's no shame in ending something that isn't working.” His dad raises an eyebrow challenging him. 

“Fine old man. You've finally grown wise in your aged years.” His dad punches his shoulder at the joke. 

They both drive their own cars to the Hale house. He's surprised to see all the packs cars there. They should be at work. He sees Parish's car waiting as well. Parish had become his favorite deputy. Always telling on his dad when he didn't stick to his diet. The young man had found out about the supernatural when the pack has still been in high school. He was a bit older but Stiles had thought about reaching out to the man to hang out. “Hey Parish, you didn't have to come out and help.”

“Ah it's ok. You helped me move last year. I'd be a dick if I didn't return the favor.” They both turn at the sound of a new truck. Stiles smiles as the moving truck pulls down the long driveway. He can feel the eyes of the pack on the back of his head. 

He greets the movers. They are a couple college aged kids and Stiles smiles at the idea of thinking of them as kids. He moves to show them inside and Peter beats him to the door. “Ahh Stiles. Happy moving day.”

He glares at Peter in confusion. He knows the wolf is on his side but he just doesn't like him that much. “Thank you Peter. Why are you here?”

“I'm here to help my nephew in law move out. I'm being nice.” He looks innocent. He hears his dad snort of the wolf. “Sheriff. Have you seen Stiles new place yet?”

He pushes past Peter and has the movers follow him. He sees Derek surrounded by the pack in the living room. He looks at Derek and waits to see if he will do anything. He waits for almost a full minute just looking at Derek when his dad comes into the room breaking the moment. “Where do you want us, Stiles?”

He directs his dad and the movers downstairs to the basement. Following after them he points out the pieces that are his. He has an entire corner of the unfinished basement. “Ok, so basically everything in this area is going. I labeled all the boxes with where they are going in my loft. So that will help. Ok, just move all of this.”

His dad picks up a box and starts the process. He grabs some of the empty bins and motions to Jordan. “You and I are going to get the rest of my cloths, hangers and toiletries.” Peter raises his eyebrow in question. “Peter, you can wrap and load the TV from the front room. I bought it so it's coming with me. I haven't gotten to watch a movie on it for a couple months.”

Peter gives him a smile and then glances up to the ceiling. One of the pack must have said something about the TV. “Of course, Stiles.”

His dad gives him a weird look and he just shrugs. He grabs the last bins and heads upstairs with Jordan following him. He stops again looking into the living room. Peter is doing as he asked and wrapping the TV. Scott looks like he wants to say something but remains silent. Jackson doesn't. “God Stilinski, it's not enough that you're leaving but you're taking out TV with you?”

“Jackson, it's my TV. I bought it. You must pull a decent salary from your job. You're not paying rent so if you saved up for a couple months you can buy one for this house. But the one I saved up for and paid for with my own money is coming with me.” He says with a reasonable tone and keeps walking. No one else says anything. 

The next two hours go by pretty quickly. The pack doesn't make anymore snarky comments but Derek just watches him with sad eyes. By the end of it he wants to run into the wolf's arms to comfort him. He has to steel himself as the movers load the last of his stuff into the truck and give him a questioning look. “You guys have the address?” They nod their heads. “Ok, there is a loading dock. I've already talked to the on site guy and we're good to park there today while we unload.”

They get into the truck and drive off. His dad and Parish get into their cars and drive off. Stiles can feel the pit of his stomach drop as he walks back up to Derek. Taking a deep breath he pulls out his key chain and starts to work on getting the house key. Derek's hand shoots out and wraps his hand around his hand. Stiles fights a shudder at the heat from Derek's hand. “No Stiles. Keep it. You are always welcome here.”

Jackson snorts and Derek growls without taking his eyes off of Stiles. Jackson flashes his eyes and looks away. Stiles is mildly impressed. But he just puts his hands back into his pockets. Looking around he thinks of all the things he might be leaving here and just tries to let it go. “If I forgot anything just set it aside. I'll come get it. Here's my new address. I've changed the address for most of my mail but if I missed any just let me know.”

He writes his new address on a piece paper and hands it to Derek. Deciding to extend an olive branch he says. “I'll invite you over when I have the place set up.” Turning to Scott. “I'll have all you guys over when it's set up.”

He heads out to his jeep and drives to his new place. He hears a mournful howl as he pulls away from the house. A bad part of his mind feels it's gratifying that he got a response out of Derek. Too little too late. Pulling into his new parking spot he sees the movers waiting for him. He grabs a bin and heads to meeting everyone. They start to unload the truck. He shows everyone where they are going and they get into a rhythm of moving everything and after a couple hours all his possesions are moved in. His dad and Jordan stay after he tips the movers. They focus on getting his bed set up and they finish putting the frame together when he gets a call from the furniture store, they are there with his living room set. He feels something warm settle inside him as the directs the store movers with his furniture. Like he's coming home. 

“So son. We're both going to take off. But your bed is good. Are you sure you don't want to sleep at my place tonight? Might be easier.” His dad asks him. 

“ Yes I'm sure. I have to get used to being here so might as well start now. Besides, I have everything I need for right now. I'm going to have to work on a huge grocery list for me.” He goes and hugs his dad. “I'll be fine. And I'll see you this week for lunch.”

He hugs Jordan as well and walks them out. He goes through his cloths bins and spends an hour hanging up everything or putting them away in the dresser. He finds the box with his bedding in it. He pulls them out and takes a deep breath through them. They smell musty but it'll do until he gets to the store for soap. He makes his bed and falls into it exhausted. He lets himself drift off to sleep in his new home.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He's a quick chapter. I'm sorry that I'm not updating that quickly anymore. Been busy with life. I've decided to change the style of this and do shorter time snippet chapters to push the pace of the story. Hope everyone likes it.

He stretched and wrinkled his nose at the smell in the air. It's a combination of stale cotton, paint and the sweat from his own body. He rolls over and grabs his phone. There is a message from Emily waiting. It must be what woke him up. “You up yet?”

He texts a 'just got up' back and starts to move around the loft. He uses his new bathroom and smiles as he trails his hand on the quart counter tops. After changing into a pair of sweats he wanders into his new kitchen. Looking around he frowns as he remembers he doesn't have any coffee. He opens a couple boxes and starts loading the dishwasher with the dishes. It's a simple IKEA set but is fine for now. He adds soap to his shopping list. It's a quickly growing list. He's happy it's the weekend. Gives him a chance to get everything he needs to actually live in the loft and not order in for all his meals. He goes over his grocery list on his phone and winces at how big it's getting. 

He's interrupted by a knock on his door. In a confused state he goes to the door. He hadn't give anyone the code to get in. Opening the door he relaxes as Emily walks in with a laugh and a shoves a coffee into his face. He's distracted by the coffee and misses her first couple sentences. “Ahh there you are. You are always horrible until you get coffee into you. I like the set up,”

He smiles in pride. “Thanks. How did you get into the building? I didn't buzz you in.”

She laughs at him again. “I'm showing a couple units today.” She wonders into his room. “I like how you have it. You're going to unpack this weekend?”

“Yup, I'll have to go to the office for a couple hours on Sunday to get some work done for meetings on Monday but I'll be here all weekend putting my stuff up around. Have to make a serious grocery run today. I forgot how annoying it is to move and have nothing in the cupboards. I literally have nothing to eat here.” He laughs and shows her the guest room that is mostly full of boxes. 

Emily gives him a sweet smile. “Than it's good like to feed people.” She pulls a small white bag out of her purse and hands it to him. “The good coffee cake from that cafe on 10th.”

“My favorite. You are a goddess of joy and love. I was starved.” He walks across his loft and puts the bag on the island. “When I have the kitchen set up more I'll have you over for dinner.”

“Sounds like a plan. Oh crap, I have to run. Have a young couple looking for a trendy loft. Both smoking hot and have both been flirting with me if you're looking for some rebound sex. I get the feeling the guy is heteroflexible.” She giggles at the face he's making. “What? It's funny. One of the best ways to get over someone is to get under someone else. Or in between two someones since you're bi.”

“That isn't really what being bisexual is really about. I just like guys and girls. And it's too soon. I left Derek yesterday.” He sticks his tongue out at her. 

“Fine. But don't wait too long. You're a catch.” She hugs him goodbye.

The rest of his weekend is a blur of the most expensive shopping trip of his life and unpacking. He's a little bit reclusive for the weekend and doesn't talk to anyone other then his dad after Emily leaves. Monday flies by in a happy daze. In fact his assistant asks if he's high twice. He gets off the elevator on his floor and smiles. He can smell his dinner down the hall. Opening his door he is greeted by the scent of the beef stew he threw in a slow cooker this morning. For the first time since he bought the thing two years ago he's come home and no one has eaten it. He had originally bought it when he ha started working so much and wanted a nice home cooked meal when he got back. The pack had always decimated it leaving barely enough for him to even have any. He had stopped trying after the third time it had caused a fight. 

He scooped a bowl and started a movie while he moved about the loft dropping his cloths on the floor and changing into a comfortable pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. He grabs his phone after it buzzes. It's a text from Matt asking where a good place to eat is close to their office. He smiles and text back. “My place.” He sends the address and access code for the front door. He set his bowl aside and relaxes with a beer waiting for the man to come over. He's surprised when he hears the knock on the door much sooner then he was expecting. He answers it with a grin. “Hey man. You made great time.”

Matt walks in and looks around. “Thanks, I was actually walking towards my car when I texted you. So I was on the move. Wow, look at this place. Can I look around?”

“Of course, just don't judge me on the bedroom. I'm a throw cloths on the floor type of guy.” He moves to the kitchen and raises his voice as Matt disappears into the guest room. “Do you want a beer?”

“Sure.” He yells back. Stiles grabs two and opens them walking over and handing one to Matt. 

“This place is awesome. Are you done decorating?” Stiles tries to not stare at the mans throat as he sips his beer. There is something sexy about it. 

“I'm not yet. Still have a ton of boxes to go through and I'm sure I'll be doing to throw some of this stuff out. I forgot how much random crap I have.” They both laugh as Stiles shows him his bedroom. He blushes at the unmade bed and cloths on the floor. 

“You did warn me. It's not that bad. I'm the same way.” Matt laughs at him. They grab their food and head back to the living room. “So what do you want to watch?” 

Stiles hands him the remote. “Guests' pick.” 

Matt ends up on an old sci-fi movie Prometheus and they both laugh themselves silly yelling at how bad it is, it's one of the most comfortable nights Stiles has had in a long time. He can't remember the last time he had a friend from work or anywhere else over for dinner with out Derek glaring at them and then snapping later that he didn't like strangers in his house. That had of course stated another fight. The list of issues to talk about in therapy was growing inside Stiles head. He walked Matt to the door with an easy smile at the man when he hugged him goodbye. 

He worked another hour or two before heading to bed. With a sad thought he realizes he had more fun today then he had had in months. Shaking his head he sets his alarm and fades to sleep. Tomorrow will be another meeting with Dr Johnson and a busy day. He'll need his rest.


	13. Chapter 13

“So how are you liking your new place?” Dr Johnson say towards the end of their session. This week they had worked more on 'I feel' statements. His assistant had started to bring him free baked goods. Apparently he was becoming a better boss. 

“I love it. It's amazing to have a place to myself.” He responds with a smile. 

She purses her mouth and asks “What about it do you love?”

He thinks for a minute. “I love having all my stuff around me. All my pictures and art work. I love that I made a stew in a crock pot the other day and no one ate it before I got home. I love how close I am to work. My commute is just a couple minutes. It's great.”

“Did you normally come home to your dinner having been eaten by someone else?” she raises her eyebrow at him. 

“God yeah, all the time. I stopped cooking for more then just myself over a year ago because of that. The last time I made my moms stew. All that was left when I got home was a couple spoonfuls. I was furious and starved.” He signs in exasperation at the memory. 

“How did Derek react or was he not there?” She asks. 

“He said it wasn't a big deal and that I could just make more. I responded that of course I could tomorrow but that didn't fix that I was fucking hungry tonight and his pack ate my dinner. He just growled that his pack was hungry and I left food out. I ended up eating cereal in my room while I did work on my computer. I went and bought a cookbook for single people, all the meals were single servings.” He looks at the wall. “The funny thing is had they just waited till I got home I would have given them all some.”

He can feel her eyes on him. He feels a little petty whining about his food but it feels like a big deal. Taking a deep breath he turns to look at her. But he's happy that he doesn't see any judgment in her face. “Well, I'd be upset if I made a large dinner and came home and my family had eaten all of it and I was hungry. It makes perfect sense.”

He must make a face since she raises her eyebrow again. “What? What are you thinking about now?”

“Well, it didn't really feel like that. I mean you got the basics right but it didn't really feel like that.” He takes a minute to think of the exact words. “It felt like coming home and finding out my roommate and his buddies had eaten my food. I've had that happen in college and it was annoying as hell. But it was just something that happens. This felt like an insult. When your roommates friends eat your food, they apologize and it becomes a funny joke. There was not thought in the pack to leave any food for me. I was an afterthought. It was insulting.” He tells her. 

She nods along and writes something down. “So were your feelings commonly not taken into account?”

“Yeah. Just recently the camping trips. He didn't even tell me about them. Or think to tell me.” He takes a deep breath to keep from getting upset. It was one of the techniques he was practicing. He had stopped it when he had stopped getting panic attacks. 

“Well, we've done some good work today. Keep working on your 'I feel' statements and as your homework this week I want you to think of something good Derek did each day and write it down with how you would get back to a situation where that would happen again.” She shakes his hand as he leaves the office. 

His drive home is quick as he thinks about good things that Derek has done. It wasn't always bad. And even when it was bad Derek was thoughtless not outright mean. No, it was mean. It was horrible, but not always. He gets home and is greeted by the scent of his dinner. He made a pot roast with potatoes. He again is struck by how good it feels to get home and have his dinner still be here. Maybe it's the smell that brings it all back. He had made this same pot roast, it was one of his moms favorite recipes, and had arrived at his house to find the pack had eaten all of it. He had thrown the slow cooker out and when they asked him why he said 'since I never get any of the food I cook in this I don't need it'. Derek had felt so bad he sent one of the betas to go get him food. Stiles hadn't bothered to cook again for more then himself since then. He had forgotten how much he enjoyed it. 

Eating his dinner he got out his tablet and made a new document titled 'Derek's good deeds'. He thought for a while during his dinner and types out. 'Derek brings me breakfast in bed on Sundays'. During the first year Stiles lived with Derek he woke up every Sunday to Derek bringing him fresh made coffee and breakfast. His wolf couldn't cook but the cereal in bed was nice. The first time Derek had tried to make french toast. It was awful but Stiles ate every piece. The next weekend Derek had brought him cereal. 

He finishes dinner and goes to bed. His week falls into the same routine of gym in the morning, work, and then dinner at home alone or with friends. On Friday he's getting ready to go meet some couples for dinner. Climbing out of his perfect shower he glances at his reflection and is surprised to see that he's showing good results from the gym and not eating out so much. Smiling at his reflection he takes a couple selfies flexing. He's a little embarrassed by it but does it anyway. Getting dressed it hits him how stress free he feels right now. The stark difference in his life actually makes him sit down. He had no idea how hard it had gotten going home to a place he didn't feel comfortable. Shaking himself he puts on tight jeans and a button down shirt. Rushing the couple blocks to the restaurant he gets there in time to get seated with his coworker Kris and her husband. “Hey guys. Sorry I'm late.”

They laugh and look at him. “Looking good, Stiles. Living alone suits you. How is it going?”

Stiles nudges her with his shoulder and holds his hand out to her husband Terry. He works out of state and rarely gets back to see his wife. But Stiles had actually gone of more group dates with him and his wife Kris than he had been on with Derek in the past 6 months. “It's great. I actually have been hitting the gym in the mornings and making meals at home.”

Kris raises her eyebrow at him and smirks while he turns to talk to Terry. “So how has work been? Kris said you got the contract on a new site.”

Terry is an engineer for a company out of Las Vegas and travels all the time for his work. “Yeah, we got a contract in Portland so I'll be there for 6-9 months. It's a pretty interesting.”

They talk about places in he should stay in Portland since Stiles lived there for a couple years. “I can make some calls, see who has a room to rent or a garden apartment. There are some really nice areas.”

They are a couple rounds of drinks in when Kris points behind him. “Hey, it's that Matt from the office?”

He turns and sees Matt at the bar ordering. “Yeah it is, he must have come by after work.”

Kris waves Matt over and Stiles has a hard time not watching the man walk to them. The tight button down shirt shows the outline of hard muscle as Matt moves. Kris gives him a look and he knows he busted. He glares at her and then falls silent as Matt gets to their table. “Hey guys, how are you doing?”

Kris takes the lead. “We're celebrating my husband being home. He's based out of Vegas so only gets home every other month or so.”

They make introductions and chat about work and life while they continue to order rounds. The night resolves into good conversation and tons of laughing. Terry and Kris get into an Uber at the end of the night with hugs and promises to hang out again soon. Stiles knows they don't mean it, they always go out the first night when Terry gets home but they tend to stay home or do just family activities the rest of the visit. He and Matt wave as the car drives off. He is feeling flushed and happy from all the alcohol. Matt gives him a weird look than grabs the back of his neck and blushes. “Hey man, I hate to ask this but I really don't want to show up drunk. I don't want to get a call from my mom.”

“Oh yeah dude, you live with your parents friends. They'll really tell on you?” He leans against the wall of the bar laughing. 

“yeah, they are kinda dicks. That's why I'm looking to buy a place.” Matt looks pleadingly at him. 

“Fine, come home with me. I have extra bedding for the couch. It's very comfortable.” He grabs Matt's arm and they walk to his house. They talk about work mostly and houses that Matt likes while they walk. They get to his house quickly and Stiles again marvels at how easy it is living here. He pulls out a couple water bottles and hands one to Matt. “Here, have some water while I get a blanket and a pillow.”

Stiles goes into his room and grabs an extra pillow from his bed and a blanket from his closet. He heads back into his living room and becomes very happy that Matt isn't a werewolf when walks into the room. Matt has taken off his shirt. He doesn't look a bit like an IT guy. He looks like a quarterback. Large biceps go up to broad shoulders with strong rounded shoulder mucles. His chest is perfect with light brown hair that doesn't hide a bit of definition. His abs flex a bit as Matt moves to the couch and lays down. “Sorry about that, I can't sleep with a shirt on. Hope you don't mind.”

Stiles sputters a bit but luckily Matt is too drunk to catch it. “It's fine. Here, let's get you comfortable.”

He has the blanket on Matt and doesn't flinch when Matt grabs his wrist. The head from Matt's hand making him uncomfortably award that he hasn't had a guy touch him in almost a month. He and Derek didn't have a good relationship but they had incredible sex almost every single night. Matt licks his lips and Stile swears he doesn't track the movement with his eyes. “Hey man, feel free to tell me to fuck off but what is going on with you and Derek? Everyone at the office talks about it. They discuss him like he's a myth but at the same time they know he's real. It just seems like there's something I'm missing.”

Stiles drunken mind takes a minute to put together a response. “I don't really know what is going on with Derek and me. To be honest I'm really hoping that going to therapy would have helped be he hasn't gone to any sessions with me and I'm not sure if he would ever go by himself.” Taking a steadying breath he sits on the couch next to Matt. “We met in high school and went through some really intense stuff. It made us have to make pretty adult decisions and grow up fast in some ways. It bonded us together pretty tightly with each other and his pack of friends. Well, some of them were my friends first. But we all ended up as a pseudo family. And to an only child whose mom died that was pretty awesome. But I look back now and realize that we only were acting like adults. I am an adult now and I want an adult relationship. We officially started dating when I was seventeen and when I came back from college, we didn't really change the relationship at all. It wasn't until a little while ago that I realized that it was still like dating someone in high school or college, it's not horrible but it's not good. We got older but we really didn't grow up like we were supposed to and now it feels like being around college kids. And I'm just done if nothing changes.”

He stops and looks at Matt who is giving him a sympathetic look that makes him feel uncomfortable. “Ok, I should probably go sleep this off and the bathroom is right over there if you need it.”

He gets up and Matt calls out. “Stiles. It's ok to be messed up about this. You were with him for a long time.”

“Thanks. Sorry about unloading all that on you.” He keeps eye contact which feels very intimate but it's better then letting his eyes roam down to the perfect abs he can see in the edges of his vision. Sue him, he's used to being sexually active and hasn't in a while. 

“It's ok. I get it. I moved here because I wanted to slow my life down and get a new start. Sometimes we all need that. I was seeing a guy in San Francisco, we had the perfect young gay life in the big city. Both a couple years out of college and madly in love. Or at least I was. I came home from work early and found him balls deep in someone else.” He must make some hurt face cause Matt waves his hand. “It's ok. What I'm trying to say it that people aren't always supposed to be in your life. Sometimes they are meant to come and go.”

Stiles puts his hand on Matt's shoulder and squeezes gently. Matt smiles at him. “Sleep tight.”

He goes to bed and tries hard not to think about the man on his couch.


	14. Chapter 14

Stiles walking into his house after a day of running errands. He took a deep breath and smiled at the smell of his dinner. He had tried a new recipe for lasagna. He made it in his slow cooker. He had definitely gotten his money out of the slow cooker since he moved. It was so nice to throw everything in in the morning and go to work then come home to a hot cooked meal that no one had messed with while he was away. He dropped his bag of groceries on the table that was still clean from this morning. He turns on some music and breaks into an even bigger smile when he doesn't hear any comments about his music from Jackson. He unpacks his groceries to the warm vocals of Etta James Sunday Kind of love filling his loft with beautiful music. He has everything put away and is about to settle down for dinner when his phone buzzes letting him know someone wants in. 

Glancing at the phone he is shocked to see Lydia looking at the camera with a raised eyebrow. He hits the button to let her in without really thinking about it. He looks around at his loft to make sure its company ready and is relieved to see everything looks great. Only having to pick up after himself is incredibly easy after having a house full of people who never did anything about their mess. His art and pictures are out and tastefully lit. He smiles with pride at his home. 

He heads to the door when he hears a polite knock. He opens the door and steps back as Lydia walks in like she's about to pose for the paparazzi. He smiles at the fond memories of them in high school. It was the last time he felt really close to her. “Nice place you have, Stiles.”

Her voice is actually pleasant and Stiles responds in kind. “Thank you. I enjoy it here. Can I get you anything?”

She declines and he just watches as she walks around looking at everything. She stops at his wall of pictures he has set up. The major piece is a framed Japaneses scroll. It was hand made and hand painted. He hot gotten for having the highest score in an Art History class. It's surrounded by pictures of him doing different things in college. His favorite is a picture of him holding a 900 year old stone doll from Japan. His professor had known the curator of the Seattle Asian Art museum and they had been allowed down in the basement. He had been under strict supervision but he awed by holding something so old. 

“I don't remember any of these.” She turns to him with confusion. 

“Most of that was the last two years of school. You were finishing your Masters and working on getting into the PHD program. It was a busy time. I put them up on Facebook but no one really uses that much anymore.” He tells her. He actually does understand her not being involved in his life too heavily during school. She had been insanely busy with her own school. 

“But why haven't you put any of these up at the house?” She seems genuinely confused and Stiles wonders if everyone was just oblivious to how crappy his life has been. 

“Well, that would break Derek's decorating belief that his house should be a monument to his dead family. If you haven't noticed, he had it rebuilt to look like it was last decorated in the last 90's. Maybe early 2000's. My stuff didn't make the cut.” He tells her in a conversational tone. He can hear mild amusement is his voice. He's actually amused that she hasn't noticed before now. “Other then the updated entertainment stuff everything in that house belongs in the late 90's. I'm surprised you didn't notice.”

She makes a dismissive huff. “I just thought it was what happens when you allow boys to decorate.”

He spreads his hand motioning at his place. “I think I have pretty good taste when allowed to actually make choices. Derek had the house fully built while I was at school. What you see at his house is his horrible taste.”

She looks around and nods her head. “Why didn't you ask him to redecorate?”

“I did.” He says and there is no emotions in it. He has been living with Derek for a year when he asked. Derek had just told him he liked it looking like his family home and to drop it. Stiles had worked a 60 hour work week and had been too tired to fight. He should have. Shaking himself free of the thought. “Why are you here?”

She actually looks a bit hurt. “You're my friend, Stiles. I'm here to see how you're doing.”

He really wishes he could believe that but he can't remember the last time they hung out together. He knows she was busy, you don't get a PHD in the same time as most people get a BA and master and still have time for a life. But he knows she made time for Jackson and Allison. So it hurts that he wasn't a priority. “Well, I'm fine. How have you been?”

“I've been doing poorly. Derek is worse then when he was in high school. He mopes around. He snaps at everyone. He's driving the pack insane.” She says and sits down with a flourish hair flipping. He would be impressed by her flair but he has grown immune to her charms. Now he just knows she's trying too hard. 

He moves across the room to the glass decanter and glasses that Emily bought him as a house warming gift. He had teased her but was happy now for the distraction. Pouring himself a very generous portion of whiskey he tries to not let her words make his heart flutter. He had been hoping for any sign that Derek actually missed him. But no amount of missing made up for how bad a boyfriend Derek had become recently. He took a large mouthful of whiskey letting the burn center him before he responded.   
Turning to the girl he had loved from elementary to high school he raised his eyebrow in question. “Why should I care if Derek has been an ass?”

Lydia actually looks confused for a minute. “Because he's your boyfriend.”

“Well, he doesn't seem to be doing anything to show me that he is, but we can argue semantics later about what he is and is not. All I know is that he is not my problem.” He moves to his kitchen and pulls out a beer. He needs to keep his hands busy for this conversation. “I moved out because he wasn't communicating with me at all and he's been even worse since I left. So I'm not sure why you're here. I can't help you with Derek's behavior.”

“You could move back. That would make him better.” She says and even Stiles can hear the doubt in her voice. 

“Yeah, but that wouldn't fix any of the shitty boyfriend problems we were having, are still having, I'm not sure with tense to use since he doesn't seem to be active in my life anymore.” He takes a sip of his beer and lets the cool liquid calm him. “Lydia, I appreciate you coming here but we haven't hung out in years without the pack being there. We aren't friends anymore. Now if you want to change that, that's fine. I'd entertain the idea of a friendship again. But worrying about Derek is no longer my responsibility. If he wants to call me he can, let him know. But I lived with him for years and he never opened up to me. I'm done. Tell him it his turn to start reaching out. You can leave now.”

He moves to the door and watches as a flustered Lydia starts to walk towards him. She stops and makes a little angry huff. “I'm leaving Jackson.”

“Good for you. I always knew were a genius. Congratulations on acting like it. Why know?” His voice starts light and fun and ends deep and serious. 

“He was fine when I got back. Than he just keep acting more and more like an ass. It's annoying. I hang out with him and he doesn't do anything. It's like being back in college. I want to start my career and all he wants is to hang out and lay by his parents pool. He works but he hates his job and then we go to the house and Allison is nice but Scott and them are idiots. It's so boring. If he didn't look so good and fuck like a demon I would have left him years ago.” She seems breathless after her rant. “And since you left he's been acting like a little bitch whining every time he comes back from spending time with Derek. I'm just done. It's like dating a high schooler.”

Stiles stands watching her. “Sucks doesn't it? Welcome to my world.”

She looks around. “I need a drink. I know you have the hard stuff.”

He smiles and walks to his dining cabinet and opens a section. Pulling out a bottle of dark amber liquid. “Classes are in the cabinet by the fridge.”

She pulls two of his classes out and he pours. “So let's talk”

They throw back their first drinks and he refills them. She starts talking tell him about all of the issues they are having. Some are similar to his and Derek's. Two people that met and feel deeply in love when they didn't really know who they were themselves. Making it harder to pull away and harder to make something on solid ground. He starts to see the vulnerable Lydia he remembers from some of their times in high school. Raw and open to feelings she pour out everything. The whiskey is helping he's sure. “And he has no ambition. It's horrible. I killed myself to get my PHD so I could come back sooner and he gets kicked out of law school. It's crazy. He's smart. He really is, he just doesn't try. It's like once he realized how hard it was he didn't want to put the effort into it.”

He nods his head to show he's listening but he can't hep be compare it to Derek just not trying to be a boyfriend once he had said they were boyfriends. It's like saying it made it true instead of actually working on it. Once she has everything out he gets a spare blanket and lets her pass out on the couch. 

He watches her for a minute and feels a part of his heart thaw. He's still angry and she'll be working for it but he thinks they might be able to be friends again. He's not sure they are yet, too much has happened but he thinks he might be able to be her friend again.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick chapter. But wanted to keep updating. Next chapter will be a bit longer.

Having Lydia Martin back in his life is....awkward. They don't talk much the morning after her revelations. They are both a little too hung over to really discuss anything serious. He even goes back to bed after he walks her out. She gives him a couple days to get used to her again with simple texts letting him know she's thinking about him or asking about his day. He's a bit ashamed of how happy his is that she's paying attention to him. Some things we never grow out of what you want in high school. The rest of him is trying to get used to her again. He gives in and agrees to drinks after work. 

They meet at his favorite bar. He's incredibly tired. He's working on the plan to expand the local community college with a couple representatives from the University of California. Going over budget plans and zoning plans and a dozen other types of plans was wearing him down. He was mostly pissed that the other two urban planners worked half as much as he did. Ok, Jerry he was ok with, the man was six months from retirement but Ashley was only there a year more then him and had left at 5pm while he got done at 7 and worked through his lunch. It was annoying him. 

He ordered a drink from the waitress as he moved through the room towards Lydia. She was stunning. Some people just light up a room. Lydia Martin was one of those people. He sits down with her and sighs at his first chance to relax all day. “Hey Stiles, how was your day?”

“Crazy busy. How was yours?” He tries to remain calm at how odd it feels to be chatting with her. 

“It was good. It's fun to watch the students minds wake up to math.” She says ruefully. She accepted a part time research and teaching position at Beacon Hills Community College. She had quickly been promoted many times. She could have gone to a major Ivy school and been a teacher but she had come back for the pack. They had thrown a huge party when she came back. Stiles found out about it the night before, no one had told him. 

They talk about trivial things until she looks at him with determination. “So why are you so upset today? It's not about me I can see that. So what's up?”

“Well, work is kicking my ass and there is another urban planner who is basically doing about a third that I am, and it's getting to me. I'll get over it. The whiskey is helping.” He salutes her with his drink. She scowls back but picks up her martini and cheers with him. 

“Well, I've heard nothing but good things about you from anyone I've talked to, you've thrown a Molotov cocktail at a rampaging werewolf. Don't take any crap.” She asserts. He nods along with her. 

“Our lives are not normal.” He smiles and downs his drink. The burn settles in his stomach and makes the night a little easier to handle. 

“I agree, but it doesn't mean that I can do that at work. But I'll talk to my boss about it.” He actually has a bargaining chip. “Well, I got a job offer today from the University of Cali. They've loved the work I've been doing and offered me a job if I want it.” 

“That's great news but would you leave it you took it?” Her voice lowers and he can hear the fear in it.

“It would be to basically do this job at the college for the next year, but eventually would send me all over. It would be pretty nice.” He says knowing that her mind is already three steps ahead. If he leaves Derek will lose his damned mind. Not that Stiles actually cares but he knows she thinking it. 

She doesn't give anything away and hes reminded of the girl who was losing her mind and didn't crack until the end. Her smile gets a little forced but he know she panicking about him leaving. He wants to look at it as if she'd miss him but he knows it's more about Derek losing his shit and freaking out. Ah well. 

“Stiles!” Their silent staring contest is ruined when he turns at his name. Kris, one of his coworkers in the clerks office is walking towards him. He stands up and opens his arm and she leans in for a hug. “I feel like I haven't seen you in forever. They've been keeping you so busy the past couple weeks.”

He hugs her back “I know, but I'm getting a lot done. We'll have to hang out soon, I swear.” He turns and looks at Lydia. “Kris, this is my friend from high school, Lydia. Lydia, this is Kris. One of my favorite coworkers.”

“We all know your favorite is Matt. But when he wears a tight shirt he's all of our favorites. It's nice to meet you Lydia. It's good to see Stiles out and about. He's been so busy with huge projects but we hear such wonderful things about him.” She laughs and kissed his cheek goodbye. “I'm just hear to grab food on the way home. See you Monday. And get to work on that house warming party. We all need to see the new place.”

He waves as she leaves and sits back down. Lydia is looking at him speculatively. “What?”

“Nothing.” She waves it off. “Just thinking about you in high school. You've grown a lot.”

He raises his class again to her. “We all have. You've changed too. One of the quickest PHD's in MIT's history. You're parents must be proud.”

“They'd be more proud if I had taken one of the positions at a major university instead of Beacon Hills Community College. It was hard to explain to them why I did it. You're lucky you're dad knows about our histories.” She looks sad for a moment then shakes it off. “But here I get to run the whole math department. It's not glamorous but it's a good job.”

He wonders if she's trying to convince him or herself. He decides to just cut to the chase. “So, Jackson?”

She makes a face and downs the rest of her drink. “I don't know how to proceed. It's a new feeling. How did you break up with Derek?”

“I asked him to open up, he didn't, I bought my own house, then I told him to come to therapy he didn't. And I'm just about done feeling like I want to be with him at all. I don't recommend it. It sucks.” He downs his drink and signals for another round.

“Are you thinking of officially breaking up with Derek?” Her voice sounds small. Like in high school when she didn't know about all this. 

“I don't want to. I miss him. Like actually miss him. But I won't be in a relationship where I'm not actually respected.” Their drinks come and he smiles at the waitress. “It's like dating him is like dating a high schooler. He thinks just if he says he loves me it makes it all better. It's really pathetic that I kept letting him.”

Her eyes turn calculating and she shakes her head. “No, you and I are both smart enough to know that what happened to us in high school completely changed our path of development. We had to become adults and warriors in some ways but we never got to do a lot of the other healthy paths that everyone else did, it made us different. It makes sense that since you entered into a relationship in high school that you wouldn't have learned those skills others did by going through multiple partners, especially if Derek was emotionally stunted too.”

This is why he was in love with Lydia for so long. Her mind. “That is what my therapists has been working on with me. It's working. I feel I'm getting better at setting boundaries and speaking up for myself without you know a rogue Alpha rampaging all over. Communicating in times of peace is my issue. I'm great at it when I'm at work and things need to get done but telling my boyfriend that when his friends treat me like crap I need to be able to express that in an intelligent and understandable way. That's the hard part for me.”

“Well, I seem to be in the same situation. I moved back thinking Jackson and I would have a future, a paralegal is a good job. It's good work. If he took pride in doing it it would make all the difference. We could have a good life. But I'm not happy. I haven't been happy in a long time with him.” She looks lost but determined. 

“I have the number of a great therapists if you want.” He says deadpan. She laughs and they finish dinner on less emotionally charged topics. 

As they are leaving he decides to extend the olive branch even more. “I'm going to throw a house warming party in two weeks. I'd love some help planning it.”

She hugs him and accepts and they plan to meet again.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick look at what some other characters are doing.

John sat down at his favorite diner. He waved back a hello to his favorite waitress. His coffee is there before he's even gotten comfortable. “Take your time, Sheriff”. 

He orders his usual breakfast and looks around guiltily for Stiles. The boy has a way of making all his orders seem like he's trying to have a heart attack. His cholesterol is perfectly fine. What is is not expecting is the man he thought of as his son in law for years to sit down in front of him. He sips his coffee and just looks at Derek. Really looks at the young man. To be honest the boy looks like hell. He has huge bags under his eyes and has the same lost look the boy had after the fire. 

He holds on to his temper enough not to order the boy away but it's a close thing. He had been there for the call every time Derek disappointed his son. After one of the canceled dates Stiles had even gotten emotional and asked why no one would ever love him as much as he loved them. It had broken John's heart hearing his little boy say that about himself. He blamed his approval of their relationship as well. If he had made Stiles date someone else he might have found someone better suited. His boy was a consistent person. He loved deeply and hard. It had taken years of pain to drive him to break away from Derek. John wanted to punch the man but he was in public. 

“What can I do for you, Mr Hale?” He said trying to keep it civil. 

“Stiles left me.” Derek's voice cracks and sounds broken. 

“Yes, I helped him move into his new condo. It's a lovely new home for him. He's had me over for dinner more times since he moved than when he lived with you. He feels at home there.” Ok, his temper is starting to show. 

Derek looks like he's been punched. “He won't come back. I don't know what to do.”

John rolls his eyes. Stiles gets his attitude from him. “Well, you could try calling him. According to him you haven't even called him to say hi. I know you have to have memories of what a happy marriage is, Derek, you had parents. Why don't you grow the fuck up and treat my son like you actually want him around.”

Derek looks gutted and John can't bring himself to care. His son was so miserable he had to buy a home to get one instead of building one with the man he loved. “Here's a tip, when you make plans with your partner, show the fuck up. There are no excuses other then someone hit my car and I’m dying. That's an excuse. One of my pack is feeling down so I'm going to ignore you invite everyone else other then you to spend time with me, is the shittiest thing you can be doing. When you're making the person who loves you miserable, you're doing something wrong. Stop it. I don't care that he won't come home to you. I'm happy he's moving on. My son has smiled more and seemed happier since move away from you then I have seen him in years. What type of man doesn't get input from his husband when building a home for the two of them. A dick, that's who. You're a dick, Derek. This might be causing you pain but who the fuck cares. You caused my boy pain for years with treating him like he didn't matter. He did everything to make it work and you didn't give a fucking inch. He even wanted to go to counseling so you could learn and you didn't show up. You clearly don't want a relationship with Stiles. You just want him living with you without putting up too much fuss. God, I should have pushed anyone else at him to date.”

He pushes himself up and changes his order to go. He takes the package and heads out. Feeling a little better for giving Derek a piece of his mind. 

 

************* 

Lydia had always been desperate to fit in in high school. Hiding her considerable mind behind her good looks. She had re-prioritized in college. Meeting people who's minds equaled or surpassed hers had let her find a balance in her life that she had lacked in high school. As most people had. She had found out who she really was in college. And while she was still physically attracted to Jackson his behavior since she came back had been pushing her away from what she found acceptable. 

She had been telling Jackson to stop some of his more annoying behaviors and even tried the whole 'I feel' comments to see if it would do anything but Jackson would just laugh and then change the subject. It had been getting worse since she had been home. Watching Stiles move out had given her a bit of perspective about the whole situation. They had both been with their wolves for so long that she had a strange idea that they had to be with them. Lydia had learned enough about the werewolves that she knew that once a wolf mated with someone they were unlikely to want to mate with someone else. But they were human so did not feel the connection as instinctively as the wolves. She thought back to the last time they all seemed happy and it saddens her to realize it was back in high school. With all the stress and pain of those years it was sad to think of that time being more content. The territory was safe and quiet, much to the hard work of her and Stiles in those first years. Bonding the pack together by ruthlessly taking out their enemies and making iron clad alliances with neighboring packs. It was quiet by the time they all went to college. Now it seemed like a lifetime ago. She missed college when they had their whole life ahead of them. Now the reality of being adults was setting in and it was hard. Just hard. Trying to start a career and date someone who seemed to be on a different path then you. It was a little torturous. 

She had kept in touch with her friends from college and the stories about the guys they dated kept making her feel jealous of them. Not that they all had amazing relationships but they had ones that seemed to be working better then her and Jackson. She had been with him so long she wasn't really sure how to not be with him. She was again struck by the courage Stiles must have had to muster to finally leave Derek. She had been watching the man mistreat Stiles since she came back and was proud of him for leaving. She was shocked at first and it had felt scary to feel the sands shifting under their feet. She should have supported him but reacted badly. 

She had let herself be taken in by the big project of remodeling the Whittemore pool house but after looking some time reviewing the facts she could no longer do it. She was on her way to the Whittemore office to apologize but she would not be able to continue with the remodel. Pulling up to the office she appreciates the location. It's close to her favorite cafe. It's within walking distance of her office at the college. She smiles at the receptionist. 

“Ah, Lydia. How are you doing? Are you here to see Jackson?” The older woman has been working at the office since Lydia can remember. She's an incredible worker. 

“Oh no, I'm here to see one of his parents if they are available?” She kicks herself for not calling ahead but she wanted to do this as quickly as possible. 

The receptionist glances down at a schedule and smiles. “Mrs Whittemore should be free. She doesn't have an appointment for over an hour. I'll just go check.”

Lydia nods and watches the women walk down a hall. She glances around the office and sees Jackson's desk is empty. She is thankful that he won't be there to hear this. “She's free. Just head on back.”

She smiles at the receptionist and heads through to the offices. Opening the door. “Mrs Whittemore?”

“Oh come in Lydia. What brings you here?” Mrs Whittemore is a beautiful women. Lydia envies the women. She was able to go into law and not have to give up her style. Lydia was fighting that in the physics department. 

“Thank you.” She sits down and takes a deep breath. “I wanted to discuss the remodel. I'm very sorry but I can't continue supervising it. I've printed out everything you'd need to keep the project on track if you want to continue it yourself.”

She hands over a file of all the names and numbers of all the contractors and decorators. Mrs Whittemore frowns but takes the file. “Is there something wrong? I know that your work has been busy but you're not on a time line for the remodel. You can take all the time you need.”

“I understand that and I haven't felt any pressure from you. I just want to find my own place to live. Not on my boyfriends family's property.” She shy’s away from the breaking up with your son part. 

The frown changes and Mrs. Whittemore smiles. “Oh I get that. I always wish I had done that when I finished college. I went from my parents house to my sorority house and was married to my husband while I was in law school. I never actually got to live in my own place without someone else there too. I never would give up any time I had with my family but I understand wanting your own place.”

She quickly beats a retreat with a promise of a house warming gift when things are set up. The promise reminds her of her own commitment to help with Stiles' house warming party. She already has a dozen ideas most of which he'll shoot down. So she's will go simple and just have food and drinks. Light music and lots of beer and wine. Perfect. 

She still feels ashamed she missed so much while she was gone. Returning a text about dinner to Jackson she pulls out a business card. “Hello, is this Emily? Yes, my name is Lydia. My friend Stiles gave me your card. I'd like to make an appointment to look at some condos.”

“I can do that. What type of home are you looking for?” The voice on the phone is professional and warm. 

“I'd like close to the college. At least two bedrooms and two baths. I'm unsure of the finishing so I’d like to look and see what I like.” She says. 

“I'll look at some places and get back to you.” They end the call with that. 

Taking a deep breath Lydia makes a second phone call. “This is Dr Johnson, how can I help you?”

“Hello. My name is Lydia and I'd like to make an appointment.” She says. 

“If you're having a medical emergency then please contact the local authorities.” The cultured voice instructs her. 

“No, it's nothing like that. I'm getting ready to end a long time relationship and wanted to talk it over with a professional.” She says. “It's nothing life threatening, just life changing. My friend Stiles gave me your number. He left his werewolf boyfriend and I'm leaving my werewolf boyfriend. So I thought you'd be a good choice.”

“Hmm, Lydia, the genius mated with the asshole jock? Great, I should be giving your pack a group rate.” The voice loses it's cultured overtones and sounds like a parent chastising her kids. “ Sorry, I have an opening next week, Thursday at 3, would that work?”

“Yes and thanks.” She added the date to her calendar. 

She sets about the rest of her day. It hurts but she knows their growing pains. She gets ready for her date with Jackson tonight. She's telling him about getting her own place. She prays he's better. That something he does will make her remember why she fell in love with the big jerk.


	17. Chapter 17

“So, how are you feeling this week?” Stiles listens to Dr Johnson. They're having their usual Tuesday meeting.“You've been spending time with Matt a lot? Last time we talked you had said you were doing more with him.”  
He blushes but doesn’t know why. Ok, he knows why. “Yeah. We've been hanging out a lot. In fact tomorrow after work I'm helping him look at houses again.”

She just nods her head and Stiles fights the urge to keep talking just to fill up the space. He of course gives in about a minute. “Ahh, ok. So we might be hanging out more then that.”

“And how does that make you feel?” She raises her eyebrow at him. 

He glares at her. “Really? We're going with that?”

Her laughter is easy and relaxing. “It's cliché for a reason, Stiles. It works. How do you feel about spending time with Matt?”

He struggles with his thoughts for a minute then just talks. “I love it. I like having someone to spend time with and we have a lot in common. It's nice that when he says he's going to hang out we actually do and he doesn't flake which is nice. And yes, he's hot as burning but he's also really smart. And a huge geek. I like that he gets all my references. I just like feeling like I'm a priority for him. I understand he has his own life and we don't have to spend every day together but it's nice being around him.”

“And are you thinking about being more then friends with him?” Her question makes perfect sense to him. He's been slowly leading up to this with all his talk about Matt and officially separating from Derek. In fact the last couple weeks they had barely talked about Derek at all. He was becoming less of an issue and more of an afterthought. 

“I have no idea. Really. I want him but the idea of being with someone else is freaking me out.” He tells her. 

“That's completely normal. You gained most, if not all, of your romantic and sexual identity while with Derek. It's normal to be uneasy with the idea of being with someone else. Just relax and let things happen naturally.” She glances at the clock. He knows they are almost out of time for the week. “To change the subject, you're having your house warming party this week. Are you inviting the pack?”

He has been teetering back and forth on this decision for the past week. “I invited them. Well, I had Lydia do it for me. But I did invite them. I think it'll be ok. Plus I'm having a bunch of people come so it's not like I'll be alone with them. And it's a small town. I can't avoid them forever.”

“Very adult of you.” She responses with an amused smile. 

“Adulting is hard. Why do I have to be an adult?” He buries his face in his hands making his next comments come out muffled. “Why did I have to buy a house? That's official. I can't freak out and say I'm too young, I'm an adult. I own property.”

“It's perfectly natural for adults to freak out. Don't worry.” Dr Johnson's voice is definitely mocking him now. “And owning property only means you're a home owner. Now, have you been working on the list of good about Derek?”

He blinks a few times and flushes but lets his mind race ahead of him. “Actually, no. I haven't. But that's the good thing, I haven't thought about him at all this week. I've been so busy with my life I haven't let him into it at all.” He turns his head to the side looking at her. His mind putting together all the slow hints she's been dropping over the weeks. “And that is the focus of this type of therapy, wasn't it. I had to objectively look at all my interactions with Derek to really put it all in perspective. While he wasn't horrible he wasn't a good boyfriend. Someone I can count on to build a life with me.”

Her smile is sad now. “You started your relationship with Derek before you really had a full personality, a full view of who you really were. It happens sometimes with people who start dating in high school. You developed so much while you were with him that you forgot to develop parts of yourself that were in no relation to him. It takes two wholes to make a healthy long term relationship function correctly. You're a genius level IQ so I knew you would take a long hard look at all your interactions if I asked you to and you've come to the natural conclusion. Derek is not good for you as he is right now. Not that he wasn't right for you at the time when you started but relationships require growth together.”

“Without huge levels of changes in our behavior Derek and I were never going to last.” He finishes for her. “While Derek was a fine boyfriend. Fine isn't enough to build a life. And it's time to move on.”

Her face is sympathetic but hard. She nods her head. “Helps you put future relationships in perspective. Well, that's all for this week. Our time is up. Keep you on the schedule for once a month?”

He nods his head to agree with her. Therapy was good for you. He drives home feeling lighter then he's felt in a long time, a weight gone from his psyche. He stops at the store and gets some shopping done while texting back and forth with Lydia about the party. He almost wants to tell her to cancel but he's looking forward to the actual party. And he knows left in her capable hands it will be fun. He goes home and gets some rest. His week is going to be busy so he's glad to have the extra help. 

By Friday he is feeling great about his job. He had finished a huge project with a neighborhood group that they had matched funding with the city for a new park. It was a big deal and Stiles was very proud of it. He had a couple hours more of paperwork to get done before he could head home. He glances down at his phone and sees a text from Lydia. “Let me in.”

He automatically hits the button that let's her into the building and texts her the code for his front door. He feels an odd sense of familiarity from the ongoing texting with her this week. He made sure to not spend too much time with her over the weeks still trying to determine if he could fit her back into his life but she was relentless in her pursuit of their friendship. It reminds him when they all started working together as a pack. He and her were the brains. Pouring over information and planning attacks. Winning the day. He's so lost in memories that he doesn't hear Matt come into his office. “Lydia again?”

He startles and doesn't throw his phone, but it's a close thing. “Ah, yeah. She's setting up everything for tonight. She's a better party planner then I am.”

He looks up at Matt and feels the pit of his stomach drop a bit. The man stopped shaving and had a good start to a dirty blond beard that seem to make his lips even more kissable. He watches Matt move in and sit down making the cloth over his legs pull tight. Damn the man has some good legs. “When do you want me there?”

Now naked with my tongue... “How about 7ish?”

Matt's face lights up as he smiles. “Sounds good. How's the Lydia thing going?”

“Weird. I like having her around again but it's odd. I'm trying to get to know her now. I really didn't spend much time with her when she got back from MIT so it's hard to get into a routine of hanging out with her when it hasn't really happened since high school. She's nice and fun but I feel like I'm getting to know her all over again.” He admits. 

“That makes sense. You really haven't hung out with just the two of you in years. But she seems to be making an effort.” Matt really is made of sunshine. 

“Yeah, ok get back to work so I get out of here on time.” He waves a hand and the beautiful man. Matt leaves laughing and Stiles gets back to work. 

The rest of his day goes by quickly with him letting his assistant go early. He's a benevolent dictator. He leaves the office and walks home enjoying a cool breeze. It really is a perfect night. He gets home and opens the door to some low music and perfect mood lighting. He's impressed. It's all just done perfectly. There are vintage looking lights hung from hooks outside making his outside look amazing and everything inside is equally nice. Lydia is moving around the kitchen putting the finishing touches on the way the food is laid out. It looks sophisticated but relaxed. He never would have been able to pull it off without I looking like a ton of effort. Lydia makes it look effortless.

“How does it look?” Lydia's question makes him jump a little. He had gotten used to being alone in his apartment.

“It looks amazing. Where did you find the metal tins to hold the drinks?” He praises her as he moves to the kitchen. The beers and sodas are being placed into dull metal bins that look cool. Again, sophisticated but relaxed. 

She smiles at his complement. “Thank you. Now go change. I've laid out a nice outfit to wear for the party.”

He starts to protest but she shoos him back towards his bedroom. He gives into her shoving and just goes. He's grown wise in his fights against her fashion wars to make the pack look better. It's even a good outfit. Skinny jeans that he usually only wears to impress people and a nice linen shirt that he knows feels great on his skin. He strips his shirt off and places it in his hamper then stretches and turns to a blushing Lydia who much have followed him into his room. No awkward at all. 

“Looks who's been hitting the gym.” She is looking appreciatively at his chest and Stiles fights the urges to flex to show off and be pissed that it too her this long to look at him like that. 

“Hey lady. Eyes are up here.” He flexes as he motions up to his face. Sue him, he's shallow. 

She lets out a peal of laughter and leaves his room. He quickly changes and goes back into his living room for inspection. Lydia's smile means he passed. 

“So, you planned all this. Who's coming?” He hopes none of his apprehension slipped into his tone. 

“Well, the pack said they were. So there's that. But almost everyone on the list you gave me is coming. You're quite popular.” She looks a little worried but shakes it off. “But don't worry. We have plenty of food and plenty of drinks. I've ordered pizzas which will be here in an hour and there are plenty of snacks till they arrive. We're good.”

He can hear the little stresses of her voice and know that she is nervous as well. He feels that old affection he had for her rise up and doesn't fight it. He can understand how it got so bad between them from an intellectual point of view so it's easier to convince his emotions to go along. He puts an arm around her shoulder. They might not be best friends anymore but they went through war together. The wars are done. But they left them bonded.

“Scared to see Jackson?” He gently bumps his head on her shoulder. “Have you broken up with him yet?”

“No. But he has to know something is up. He's not stupid and I've been avoiding him like the plague. Work can only get you out of so many dates.” The stress in her voice is naked to anyone who knows her. He squeezes harder and moves away. Letting her stand on her own. 

“It'll be fine. If he's not as stupid as I think he his, which I have yet to actually see, then he knows it's coming and he knows he should have been a better boyfriend.” He lets his voice to into a parent knows best tone. 

“We both joined our lives to men who believe in forever but have no actual idea how to be with someone. They skipped to the happy marriage in their minds and failed in real life.” Lydia's words just make him nod along with her. 

He wants to keep talking about this with her. It's nice to have someone from his old life to talk with about these things but his phone dings telling him that someone has entered the code to get in and is on the way up. “Show time” He murmurs as he heads to the living room. 

The next hour is a blur of people arriving and greeting with drinks being handed over with laughs and hugs followed by quick tours of his new place. He admits a sense of pride as he shows off his place taking a greater sense of accomplishment when people comment on his wall of pictures. He's happy at all of his experiences. Lydia gives him a pointed look when he greets Matt but then he catches her looking at his ass and they share an easy laugh. Matt, Emily and he are discussing Matt's inability to decide on what he actually wants in a house hunt when the blond buries his face in Stiles neck and says with shame. “I know. I'm horrible. I just keep looking hoping to find a place I love at first sight. Is that too much to ask? You loved this place when you first walked in. I just want that too.”

Wrapping his arm around the blond and letting the man hold him. “Well I did get to pick the finishes so that helped. You just need to keep looking and remember to buy Emily many drinks.”

“Remember I like high end vodka.” She says while laughing. Stiles joins her and realizes that he hasn't laughed this much in years. His sides actually ache from how much he's laughed today. 

He enjoys the weight of Matt is his arms and gets a whiff of his cologne. It's good. When he sees Lydia across the room make a face. No one else would have noticed it but he had seen the girl watch beheadings so he knew her better then most. Turning his head he glances at where she is looking and tenses as his eyes meet Derek's. The wolf does not look happy. The whole pack is arranged behind him at the front door. Matt much feel his tense because he jerks away and looks around. “Ahh, the ex”

Stiles just nods his head and lets go of Matt. “Guess I should go and welcome them.”

He whispers but knows the pack can hear him. Matt just laughs and squeezes his shoulders for a second. He gives Emily a reassuring or at lease what he hopes is a reassuring look before walking across the room. He gets to the pack and waits for a couple seconds standing in front of Derek. He's not really sure how to act now. 

Scott breaks the silence by brushing past Derek and hugging Stiles. Never doubt Scott's inability to defuse a situation with hugs. “Hey man. You're place is awesome.”

He returns the hug. “Thanks Scott. I really love it.”

Scott pulls away smiling with his puppy dog eyes and he can feel is resolve fade for his old best friend. He's never been able to hate Scott. Even when he should have hated the man. Like when he had to hold a two hundred pound werewolf up in a pool for three hours. You forgive family. He can feel the words that would let Scott off the hook come out of his mouth when Jackson ruins it. Letting out a dismissive huff “Please McCall, this place is tiny. Just two bedrooms.”

Wow, he's never known what 200% done with has felt until now. It feels quite liberating. He doesn't have to look to know it's Lydia that puts a warning hand on his shoulder. He gets a mild flash of red from Derek's eye's warning him. But this is his den. His home. He is the Alpha here. So he smiles as he says “It's more then you own right now Jackson. Your parents own your house not you. So if you're not going to be polite to every person here you can leave now.”

Jackson looks smug as he turn a little to Derek. Stiles decides to nip that in the bud. Keep his voice low so no one in the condo can hear. “Nope. Don't go to Derek. He has literally nothing to do what happens here. This is my home. Not his. So if you're not going to be respectful to me an everyone here leave now. Or when you piss me off I'll actually raise my voice and tell you to leave. And when you don't I'll have you arrested for trespassing. Understood?”

He waits for Jackson's response. After a couple beats Derek starts to lean in, he knows it's to give the same old reasoning that Jackson's parents died so he can't possibly be responsible for acting like an adult and controlling himself when Stiles turns his head slightly to acknowledge the Alpha while not stressing his party guests. He shakes off Lydia's hand. “You either agree to be polite to everyone here or you leave now. Those are the options. There are no others.” He lets his voice drop an octave for the last sentence. 

He waits with a smile on his face until Jackson nods his head. “Excellent. Who wants a tour?” 

Derek lets out a little growl to the pack and touches his shoulder. It takes all of his strength not to put his face on the wolfs hand. “I do.”

“Wonderful. The vodka in the freezer labeled with the W will affect you guys, thank Lydia for it and the food I all out. Have fun.” He dismisses the pack with a smile and turns to Derek. He can feel his heartbeat pounding as he looks at the beautiful man. He knows the wolf can hear him but can't get it under control. “Come with me Sourwolf.”

He moves to the kitchen area. “Kitchen dining room and living room.” He ran his hand absentmindedly over the counter top, still loving the hard stone. He looks over to the dining table and the pack is visibly trying to look like they are not listening to every word they are saying. 

Derek just looks around and says “It's nice.”

Stiles rolls his eyes. “Thanks, I like that I can cook and still talk to people in the living room.”

Derek's eyes go a little wider and he looks confused. “We can always hear everyone on the first floor.”

Stiles just nods his head. He can understand that but he mind races ahead and puts together that Derek designed the house for werewolves. Not humans. Not Stiles. He loves to cook and Derek knew that, knew that Stiles was going to spend most of his time in the kitchen. Alone. It's just another in the long list of examples in how far down the priority list he is to Derek. His heart must have done something since Derek looks concerned but Stiles doesn't want to make a scene. He's not sure what he's about to do. He can feel something building in his chest and he's not sure if he's going to yell or cry but is saved by his coworker Kris. 

“Stiles!” He is wrapped in her strong arms. “This place is amazing. I love it. And the balcony.”

He laughs and hugs her back. “I'm glad you like it. I'll be paying for it for the next 30 years.”

“You get used to it.” Her husband Terry says and shakes Stiles hand. “It is a great place, man.”

“Thanks. And thank you for coming. I'm so happy you could make it. Las Vegas is a decent flight. Thanks again. There is a ton of food and drinks. And the parking is safe over the night in case anyone is Lyfting it home.” He laughs and nudges her shoulder. 

“The hubby is driving tonight.” Her laughter joins his. He can feel the bubble of emotions that were threatening to erupt start to settle. 

Terry puts an arm around his shoulder. “Of course I made it. And I'll get back more of the cost eating your food.” They all laugh and share a relaxed moment before he remembers Derek is standing awkwardly next to them. 

“I'm giving Derek a tour. You guys remember him?” He motions to the wolf. 

Kris just makes an amused 'mmmm' and looks the man up and down. “Of course, the ex. We remember meeting him a couple times in the years we've worked together.”

Her tone is fine but something in her eyes just judges the hell out of Derek and Stiles has to bite his cheek to keep from laughing again. She turns slightly to her husband. “We actually thought Stiles had made him up the first year we were there. Until he showed up with a group of Stiles' friends and one jackass. I was this close to setting him up with someone since he was alone all the time.”

He can see a tiny twitch in Derek's face and decides to save him. “Come on Derek. Let's go see the rest of the condo. And I'll come find you. I have a lot to tell you.”

He grabs a fistfull of Derek's shirt and pulls him away from Kris laughing at him. God he loves that woman.


	18. Chapter 18

Stiles walked by his kitchen pulling Derek with him. The echoes of Kris' laughter following them. “We're doing shots later!”

He shudders and yells back over his should. “Not again you crazy women. Last time I was so hung over I had to call in sick.”

He only hears more laughter. Derek looks a little green. “What?” He asks the wolf in a much softer voice as they move into his bedroom. He feels himself smile at the room. Covered in his own pictures and things. Walking over and glancing into his bathroom he waves at it with one hand to show Derek. For a second his mine automatically compares it to the one he shared with Derek in the Hale house. The open glass of the shower and beautiful tile making his smile even bigger. 

“She doesn't like me.” Derek replies as he looks around. “Nice bathroom.”

“Nope, she doesn't. She really did think I was making you up so they wouldn't set me up with anyone.” He laughs at Derek's frown. “They kept having cute cousins or siblings come to lunch with us or stop by the office to drop something off. When the realized I liked guy and girls it actually started to affect work. That was why I literally threatened you to come to the office. It was the only thing that made you show up. And thanks, I love the room. I almost paid extra to get them to put a tub in here too but I had one put in the guest room for those days I really want a bath.”

“You said you wouldn't come home if I didn't come to lunch with you.” Derek seems to be more comfortable talking about things he knows. “You never told me it was that important for me to go to your office.”

“I asked you everyday for the first year I worked there to come to lunch. After a year I figured you just weren't that interested in what I did or being part of my life. So I quit asking. My fault for not telling you to get off your fucking ass and come to my office.” He can feel his face going harder. The levity of the previous conversation draining from his eyes. He is literally standing in a symbol of his freedom and independence. He draws strength from that. “But we all learn from failed relationships. I know to make my concerns noted and not letting it slide. I know better now for the next one.”

He tries to not take satisfaction from the gutted look Derek is giving him but he is human enough to give in for a minute of enjoyment. Shaking his head to clear the darker thoughts he lets himself be kind. “You weren't a horrible boyfriend Derek. You just weren't a very good one. No one want to know that their partner doesn't actually put them first. You can't treat someone that way and expect them to stay with you. It's actually very simple.”

“I always put you first.” Derek's response is automatic. 

Stiles rolls his eyes at the comment. “No you didn't. Which makes sense. We went from basically not liking each other while running a pack to being married. We never did the dating thing and really getting to know each other. Setting boundaries of what's allowed. I wasn't a complete person yet and I was basically in a relationship with damaged adult. We never had a chance.”

Derek looks desperate for a second. “I did, I always thought of you.”  
“Derek, look around you. What do you see? A place I clearly live. Think about your house. When do you remember every seeming my stuff anywhere? For gods sake, you planned a bathroom that doesn't fit me in it with you. I at least planned two sinks in hope that I'd have someone to share my life with, you didn't. I just made the same bathroom your parents had. Little creepy.”

Derek just makes a sad face and Stiles stops the attack. “Derek, we shouldn't have dated when we did. I was too young. I wasn't done becoming someone who could go into a life time relationship. Neither were you.” 

“Then date me.” Derek gets out in a rush. “You're older now. So am I. Let's date.”

“Huh.” Is his only response. He thinks Derek short circuited his mind.

“You said we never dated. Then let's go on a date.” Derek look so earnest that Stiles actually smiles a little. Then he wonders what was in his last drink when he actually thinks about a date with Derek. No. No, a world of no. “Derek, we just broke up. We can't date.”

Derek moves close and grabs his shoulder. “We can. You wanted to date so let me take you out. We can get to get to know each other. We can start over. A clean slate. You can tell me what you want. And we can work on it.”

Stiles feels his resolve weakening. Derek is looking very good. He can feel the heat coming off the wolf and Derek smells like sex to him. Derek is looking at him like he is everything to him. God he hates that look. “Fine. A clean slate. We can have dinner next Tuesday. The new grill on 11th at 7.”

Derek nods and beats a retreat back to the pack who are not really interacting with anyone else but Stiles is too shocked with his own behavior to care much what the pack does. He lets himself be distracted by Kris yelling for him to come do a shot. He quickly moves to a group of coworkers and throws back the shot handed to him. Wincing as it burns he gets swept up in hugs and sparkling conversation with friends. The rest of the party he can feel Derek's eyes on him. When Matt shows up he lingers in the greeting hug he takes a perverse sense of enjoyment at the glare Derek gives him. The pack leaves soon after Derek gets the date out of him. He's only a little sad that Scott doesn't try to talk to him. He's not sure he even cares when he's surrounded by friends.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Thank you Thank you to everyone who keeps reading my works. I swear I am still working on all of them.

“You seem especially agitated today?” Dr Johnson starts the session. 

“It shows? Damn I though I was being calm.” He tries to make light of it.

“Yes it shows. It's also a red-ish flag when a regular calls over the weekend to change his session to an earlier day. What gives?” Her voice is calm but holds authority.

“I'm going on a date with Derek tomorrow.” He tells her. The words seem so odd to be saying. 

“That explains the change in your appointment. How did this happen?” He tries but can't find any judgment in her voice. There would be judgment in his. 

“He and the pack came to my house warming party and he asked me out on a date. A new start. A clean slate.” He buries his hands in his face. “Am I an idiot?”

“Well that depends on what your expectations are and how drunk you were.” Her voice holds amusement now but her face is passive. 

“I'm not sure what I'm expecting from this, we were arguing in my room. I mentioned we went from hating each other to basically being married and I was a teen. It was all a bit blurry. The man drives me nuts. He then asked to date me. So we could set boundaries.” He actually uses hang quotes over the boundaries. “And no, I wasn't that intoxicated. I had a couple drinks before this, the shots started after he left.” 

“Ok, just wanted to make sure you made that decision without being chemically altered.” She looks thoughtful for a minute. “What are you worried about going forward with your date? I'm assuming you want to go on this date.”

“I do. I'm worried he'll show up looking hot as hell and I'll forgive him. And in a week I'll be making excuses when he doesn't show up or clams up when I ask about a situation. That I will again be unnecessary and forget I exist until he's really to play with me.” His voice actually cracks a little. He hates sounding this weak.

“Those are valid concerns. How can you make sure that doesn't happen?” Her voice is reasonable but Stiles feels a little annoyed at how simple it sounds.

Taking a deep breath he thinks through everything he's been working on lately. “I will hold him accountable when he messes up. I will lay out what I expect and what I need from the relationship. I will stop sounding like a self help book.”

He ends up making a face at the doctor. Her laughter is a surprise. “I know it feels a bit silly but that actually works. When we hear our thoughts out loud we are more likely to believe in them and work towards that goal.”

“Fine. I'll work on that. Any other advice?” He can see their time is almost up. 

“Yes. Have fun. It's a first date. Let it be a first date.” She stands up and gently leads him out of the room. “Remember, alpha werewolf or not, he's still just a guy. You date the guy.”

The next day he goes to the gym in the morning. He tells himself that he's not doing so he'll look good tonight. He walks to work since it's nice day and tries to not be too stressed. It doesn't work. He snaps at his assistants twice. “Oh god, I'm so sorry. You guys are doing great. It's all me today. Ignore everything I say today.”

He hides in his office the rest of the morning trying to throw himself into his work. He looks up when someone knocks on his door. A simple come in and he sighs as Matt walks in to the room. “So why are you yelling at your staff?”

“Oh god. Are they talking about me? Damn, I'm a shitty boss.” He buries his face in his hands. 

“They are worried about you. They think something happened to the sheriff and you're hiding it.” Matt's voice is easy but has a bit of chiding in it.

“I'm just nervous for my date.” He had told Matt all about it. “Ugh, I'll go apologize again. They really didn't do anything wrong.”

Matt just shakes his head. “Bring them food tomorrow. But explain what is happening. That would be nicer then another apology. They know something is wrong. Just tell them. You're going on a date with your ex.”

Stiles can hear a little bit of jealousy in Matt's voice and looks away for a second. “Am I being an idiot?”

“Well. Kinda. But loving someone means that we give them way too many chances. You love Derek. And from what you told me you never really told him you were moving out until you did move out.” Matt's voice sounds a bit confused on that one. 

“I did that on professional advice. The doctor wanted to see if he notice. She was trying to determine his level of observation.” He defends himself. 

“Ok, and you found out his level was very poor. Now he knows he's on thin ice so he will have to work on it. He knows that he can't fall back into old habits. And if he messes up this time you're ready to leave. Or stay gone.” Matt makes perfect sense. 

He smiles. “Thanks. That makes me feel better. So how have you been? I feel bad we haven't been hanging out as much.” He changes the topic. 

They talk about Matt's life. Projects he's working on. His parents. It's nice to not stress about his own life a for a few. He gets a text from Lydia while they are chatting but doesn't look until after Matt leaves. “I'm telling Jackson I need a break. Today.”

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck.” He mutters out loud while sending her a 'good luck'. He gets back to work and towards the end of the day he realizes that all that work he has left he can get done himself. He doesn't need his staff so lets them go home early. “It's ok. Nothing is wrong with my dad. I have a date with Derek tonight. Go home.”

They both laugh and wave as they take off. He finishes his work and walks home. He is starting to get excited about the date. He remembers how good the start of their relationship was and hopes for some of that back. He quickly changes into a pair of jeans and a long sleeved tee. He glances into the mirror and is satisfied at the sight of his biceps outlined. 

He decides to walk again and makes it to the bar a couple minutes early. He looks around the bar hopefully and can feel the nervousness in his stomach when he can't see Derek at all. He sees his favorite bartender John and goes to sit down. “What can I get you, Stiles?” 

He asks for a vodka tonic and takes a menu. He reviews the food for a while until he realizes that Derek should be here by now. He takes out his phone and frowns that there are no texts. He just calls. Derek picks up after a few rings. “Hey, are you on your way?”

“I'm not. Ahhh, Jackson is here and really upset. I didn't want to leave him alone.” Derek's voice is stern but he can hear the hesitation behind it. 

Stiles can actually feel this body getting hotter in anger. “Ahh ok. So Jackson is there and upset. Is any of the pack there?” 

Derek remains quite for a minute. “Yes, most of the pack is here. Lydia left him, Stiles. The pack needs to comfort him.”

“Ok, so you can still come on our date and he won't be alone. Problem solved.” He knows he sounds heartless but he doesn't care that Jackson is upset. 

“I can't leave him like this Stiles. His mate left him. It's the worst thing that can happen to a wolf.” Derek sounds pissed at him for asking. 

“Ok, you're friend is upset. I get that. But you begged me for a date and I'm here and you're standing me up again. You can't do that Derek. When did he show up at your place upset?” He snaps at the wolf. 

“Ahhh, around lunch.” Derek no longer seems so sure of himself. 

“So, for a few hours you have known you would not be able to meet up and it never fucking occurred to you to call me? What the actual fuck?” He is talking quietly so that the other people at the bar don't know he's upset. He got very good at that in high school. Keeping it together while everything is falling apart. “And when he showed up, did you still plan meeting me or were you just going to never show up?”

“Stiles...” Derek just says his name like that's supposed to be a response.

“Nope Derek. I'm going to finish my drink slowly and check some emails and if you're not here by then I'm going home. You will have stood me up again and it will be the first strike.” He talks slowly so he doesn't scream. 

“First strike.” Derek repeats. 

“Yup, I told you I was going to give you a chance. So you get three chances. Strikes. After that I delete your number and ask like you no longer exist. Just giving you a heads up on it. So if you decide this will be one of your strikes.” He ends the call without waiting to hear what Derek has to say. 

Taking a couple deep breaths he smiles at the waitress who comes to check on him. “I'll take the lasagna but can you make it to go?”

Her smile fades a bit but she rallies and pats him on the shoulder as she leaves. Damn. He's that lonely person that the wait staff pities. Trying to look cool and calm he takes out his tablet and starts returning some emails until his food is ready. He doesn't keep checking the door when he hears someone new come in, he swears. When his food is brought to him he has to focus to smile and hand over his card to the waitress. She pats him on the shoulder again. He leaves her a big tip and tries to hold it together until he's out of the bar.

He makes his home without looking at his phone. No calls or texts from Derek. He pours himself a drink while he puts his food on a plate. Turning on some TV he zones out until he's done with food. He jumps when his phone buzzes. It's a message from Lydia. “Get me drunk.”

She must be feeling as crappy as he is now. “Jungle?”

“I'll be over in ten. I'm picking out your cloths.” She responds. “Don't argue with me.”

He rolls his eyes and washes his dishes. Again overcome with how nice it is to only be picking up after himself instead of a pack. Looking at his kitchen brings a smile to his face. He has the dishes done and is working on his grocery list before she makes it there. She lets herself in and he is can feel a bit of the burning passion he felt for her in high school. She in perfect clubbing cloths. Tight jeans and a tank top showing enough skin that Stiles knows he's turning red. There is an effortlessness to her look that he envies. 

Lydia, of course, notices. “Thanks.”

“Whatever. You want to dress me now?” He tries to play it off but he is flushed. This is his first time going out to a club without being in a relationship and he thinks if she doesn't push him he'll chicken out.

She gives him an annoyed look while her eyes move up and down his body. “Your jeans are fine but you need a different top. You dressed with a date in mind not for what would look good on your floor.”

He laughs and she pulls him into his room. He sits on the bed and watches her look over his cloths. He hesitates but he knows if they don't talk they'll never get to be friends again. “How did he take it”

Her hand stops on a blue vee tee shirt that he knows is tight. Her voice is firm but there is little emotion in it. “He didn't handle it well. He basically yelled and then promised to change. Then when I didn't give in he yelled more and call me names. Showing all the immaturity that made me know he wasn't the person I want to build a future with. It's just too much to deal with him and starting my career. I feel like I'm taking care of a child. He looks great in a picture but he's miserable and I don't have it in me to make him happy. Now put this on.”

She turns and shows him the shirt. He grabs it and quickly changes. She makes an approving noise and they leave. They hop in a Lyft and he lets her move away from the serious topic to the subject of work. They talk about work until they get to the Jungle. It's still the run down but fun club from when they were in high school. There's a short line to get in but Lydia grabs him when he makes a move to get in line. He hears her mutter 'please' before she purposefully marches them to the door. Moving with a self assurance that he knows he'll never match. The bouncer looks likes he's about to argue with her but no one has done that in years. They get in with a nod to both of them. 

The building is cut up into two main bars. The dance floor in the back and a quieter section in the front where you can actually hear someone talking to you. They head to the bar and quickly get a drink. He downs a shot just to calm his nerves and then sips on a vodka tonic while they move to a table in the corner they remain standing. Can't have someone against your back. Lessons hard learned in high school. They look at each other and he knows Lydia is thinking the same thing. “Cheers to surviving our teenage years.”

She laughs and clinks his glass. “So, are we just people watching or are we actually going to talk to new people like adults?”

He can hear the challenge in her voice and knows it is mostly for herself. She ended nearly a decade long relationship today and needs to prove to herself that she is still the great Lydia Martin who is brilliant and desired. “Well, there are a couple clearly straight guys who are here supporting their gay friends at your 4 o'clock. They are pretty handsome. Then there is the single guy at our 8 o'clock. I think he might be bi since he checked both of us out.”

She 'mmm's and looks around on her own. She downs her drink and winks at him. “I think I'll see what I can catch.”

She walks by the clearly straight guys and from there reaction she must give them the patented Lydia smile as she heads to the dance floor since they both hop up and comically tried to beat the other one to ask her to dance. Stiles just sips his drink and laughs at her bravery. He's not sure what the hell he wants to do and most of the options scare him. There are some guys checking him out but he can't bring himself to go talk to anyone. Luckily he doesn't have to make a choice when a guy at the table next to him makes the first move. “You're friend abandoned you. You ok?”

The guy is good looking, older but still very good looking. He's also standing at his table. The tables are chest height. He has dark brown hair and a matching beard. It's not too long. He's waiting a basic tee shirt but Stiles can see the outline of some pretty nice arms. “Yeah, I'll be fine. She broke up with her long term boyfriend today so I'm thinking she just wants to dance and look pretty.”

The guy laughs. “I can understand that. Get a couple conquests under your belt. Feel sexy again. I did the same thing after my last break up.”

“Does it actually work?” He asks and hopes he doesn't sound desperate. 

“It can. I did the same thing after my last big break up.” The man smile turns rueful. “I'm Steve.”

Stiles reaches out his hand and shakes Steve's hand. It's a firm handshake and brings him closer to the guy. Who smells good. “Nice to meet you, Steve. I'm Stiles.”

“Stiles?” Steve's laugh makes Stiles smile. 

“My family is Polish. My real name is mostly not pronounceable by people. So I go by Stiles.” he leans closer to the guy. He can feel a slow growing tension between them now. He had felt it with people before but always ignored it, he was practicality werewolf married before now. “What brings you out tonight?”

Steve looks at their joined hands. They still haven't let go. “In town for a couple days for work. Just out to see what trouble I can get into with a guy guy.”

Stiles feels the flush that's creeping up his next. “Oh. Okay.”

They finally leg go of each other and turn back to the bar sipping their drinks. Stiles can't stop smiling. He glances Lydia dancing in the other area. There is a guy behind her and one in front. She looks like she's having fun. Steve bumps his shoulder in a playful way. “You're recently single too, right?”

“It shows?” He says hoping it's a no.

“Only a little. Long-term one?” Steve turns to look at him. 

“Yeah, long-term and only one.” He wonders if this will drive the handsome man way. But Steve's eyes turn oddly gentle. 

“It's ok. Not to sound like an after school special but it will get better. I've had a couple of those and you feel like the world is coming apart but you wake up one day and realize that it's all just better.” Only Stiles could meet a cute guy at a bar and get sage life advice. 

“It doesn't really feel like the world is coming apart. It actually feels like it's coming together. I didn't know until I took step back how messed and broken the relationship was and now I feel like I'm waking up or something. I mean he didn't plan anything with me in mind. The only thing that kept working was the sex and even that wasn't that amazing. And now I'm wishing I knew how talk to guys since I clearly didn't learn in college. Fuck.” He puts his head on the bar wishing for a black hole to swallow him.

Steve's laughter is huge filling the area around them. Putting his hand on the back of Stiles neck squeezing and then rubbing his back. “It's ok. I swear. We've all been there. You dated the same guy in high school and college so you don't have to learn to date. I get that. It's way braver then me. I didn't come out until I was in my thirties. So you got me beat there. You'll be fine.”

“I will?” He leans closer for more back rubs. “Swear?”

That tension between them is back again as he glances at Steve's mouth and wonders what it would be like to kiss it. “I do. In fact. How about we get out of here and I show you good it can be?”

Stiles blushes. “Bad line but yeah. Let me tell my friend I'm leaving and we can get out of here.”

Steve flags down the bartender and pays while Stiles heads into the other room. The head of the bodies feels good but the music makes it hard to think. Grabbing Lydia he nods at the guy dancing with her. He has to yell. “Hey. I'm getting out of here. Cute bearded guy at the bar.”

Lydia's eyes move up and down Steve who is tapping on his phone. “I approve. Details tomorrow after work. We'll trade stories. This is mine.” She motions to the guy dancing with her. He's hot in a boring preppy way. Stiles smiles at her. 

“Have fun.” He turns and heads back out. Steve walks with him out the door and motions with his phone. “A Lyft will be here in a couple.”

They talk about random things until the car come and they both get into the back seat. They both greet the driver and then Stiles feels a hand on his leg. Steven is looking at him. Stiles is struck by how different this feels from sexy times with Derek. There is no blind devotion or predatory lust. It's just a sexy man looking at Stiles like he wants to do dirty thing to him. It's a nice change. 

They arrive at his place and hold hands as Stiles pulls them through his building to his condo. Steve is on him once the door closes. His body is warm and hard against Stiles. His beard feels so good against his skin. Stiles is taken out of the moment by the thought that it's much softer then Derek's stubble. He is brought back by Steve panting the question “Bedroom?”

He pulls them to his bedroom and then his cloths are being pulled off. His kisses at Steve's body and he is pushed to the bed. They roll around naked then Steve reaches between them and wraps his hands around both of them. Stiles involuntarily arches his back into the contact making Steven moan. They kiss and writhe against each other until they are panting. They both finish in gasping moans. The clean up is oddly funny as the keep slowly kissing. 

Steve falls beside him still a little out of breath. “You are cute as hell.”

He smiles and looks over. “So, what is good for you?”

They both break into laughter at his comment. “Oh yeah, very good.”

They cuddle for a while spooning as the little spoon until Stiles starts to wonder if the man is staying over. He must tense up because Steve squeezes him and says. “Yes, I'm spending the night.”

“Awesome. I just was wondering.” He settles himself into the mans arms. Hating himself a tiny bit for comparing them to Derek's. They're not as big but still very comfortable. “I've never really had anyone spend the night.”

“Then I'm honored to be the first.” He can hear the smile in his voice but he sounds like he means it. 

They lay in comfortable silence until Stiles breaks it. “So this whole meeting guys? Gets easier?”

Steve moves his beard over the back of Stiles neck. “Yeah, it does. I was with a guy for years after college. When it ended I felt like I would never be able to date again but you wake up one day and the wounds are just scars and you can live with them.”

It's not wonderful but it's a good start. They fall asleep quickly after that.


	20. Chapter 20

The smell of coffee is the first thing that tells Stiles he's awake. It's odd because he didn't remember to set it before he want to sleep. The memory of last night pops into his head and he reaches for the person in his bed who is not there. Ahh, that explains the coffee. He walks to his kitchen and is greeted by a very naked sexy man. “I checked and you can't see me from the windows.”

He laughs and accepts the coffee from Steve. “How did you sleep?”

“Good. You're a good cuddler.” They sip their coffee. “I am a morning person so I found the coffee. When do you have to go to work?”

He glances at a clock. “Crap. Pretty soon. Don't have time for another round.”

“Me either. I just didn't want to leave while you were still asleep.” Steve moves in and kisses his cheek. 

Stiles throws on a pair of pj bottoms and watches Steve get dressed. It's a little sad to watch all the sexy skin get covered. They talk about non serious topics and then Stiles walks him to the door. The goodbye kiss is fun. He makes another cup of coffee and is surprised when he hears a knock on his door. Smiling he goes to the door. “Changed your mind on round two?”   
He asks while opening the door. “No, Son. But I am glad to see you're enjoying yourself.”

“Dad??” He almost spills his coffee on himself flailing around. “How?”

“I used the code you gave me to get into the building. And did I see that nice man coming out of your place?” His dad seems to be barely containing his enjoyment at Stiles embarrassment. 

“His name is Steve. I met him last night and he's a nice guy. Why are you here, old man?” He rallies and controls is flailing. 

“I stopped in to see how you were doing and to check if you wanted to go to the range with me tonight to practice. We haven't hung out in a while.” His dad still seems to be laughing at him. 

“Fine.” He says rolling his eyes. “We can go tonight. I get off at 6. Now go away.”

His dad leaves but he hears the laughter from the other side of his front door and just buries his face in his hands for a second. His dad hasn't caught him like this since he was in high school. He goes through his morning routine and gets ready for work. He checks his phone and there is a made it home safe text from Lydia. It looks like she left soon after he did. He texts her back with a 'way to go' and a promise chat later. She responds with a 'I'm coming over'. 

He texts her the code to get in and hops in a shower to get ready. When he's done she is there looking like the perfect college professor sipping his coffee. “Well, you look like you're feeling better.”

“I do. He was fun.” He puts together breakfast for both of them. They sit at his kitchen island. “How was your night?”

“It was nice. One of the guys is a banker. Nice family. The other was a barista.” She looks cool and collected. 

“Which one was which?” He can't separate the guys she was dancing with in his head. 

“Does it matter? I'm not going to date either one of them. It was just nice to be the center of their attention for a while. Are you going to date yours?” She responds with a casual smirk.

“No, he was just a hook up. I'm not ready to date anyone yet. Or I would be dating Matt from work. He's a keeper. Not a hook up.” He knows she was fishing for that information. Her looks every time he mentions Matt are getting annoying. “When I'm ready I'll move on.”

“Glad you finally admitted it to me.” Her smirk stays the same but her eyes soften. “I've missed this. I can't believe we haven't hung out like this in forever.”

“It's something I'm working on with Dr Johnson. She informed me most people really do grow apart when they go to college and it's perfectly normal what happened to us. We were brought together by stressful dangerous situations. It automatically bonded up but when that stopped we never really did the work to keep the bond working when we all left. But I'm glad we're doing this too. I missed you.”

She gets up and hugs him. “She told me the same thing.

He laughs at the annoyance in her voice. “Well, you can't always be the expert on all things.”

“Fine. I'm glad you had fun and I'm glad we're doing better. Ok, now I have to get to work.” She hugs him again and leaves. 

He looks at his phone and decides he has enough time to walk to work instead of driving. He makes it outside his office in good time and in a great mood from listening to music as he walked. He comes to an abrupt stop when he sees a dark outline sitting on a bench outside his building. Derek stands up and walks to him. He's holding a togo cup of coffee. “Ahh, what are you doing here?”

“I wanted to see you. I'm sorry about last night.” Derek sounds like he is reciting from a script. 

“Thanks. I can only chat for a minute. I have a meeting with the utilities department in ten. What's up?” He is trying to stay calm. Derek looks good. He's wearing jeans that look painted on his muscular legs. It's killing him.

Derek moves close in and his nostrils flair as he takes a deep breath. The wolf's eyes flash red. “Who the fuck was it? I'll kill him.”

The words are growled out dangerously low. So apparently Stiles did not wash the smell of Steve off well enough. He doesn't rise to the anger in Derek's voice. “No. I am single. I'm allowed to meet someone and bring them home with me. You stood me up. You don't get to be bad. I'm single.”

“You're my mate.” Derek growls out. 

“We really need to find a new word for you to call me. I don't think you know what that word means.” He reaches out and pulls the coffee out of Derek's hand. Taking a drink he winces at the flavor. It's way too sweet. He puts it back in Derek's hand. “I have to go. And you have to leave.”

“Stiles!!” He doesn't look back as Derek yells his name. 

He gets to his office and enjoys his day. The meetings go quickly and his mood is much better then yesterday. Matt shows up a little after lunch. “So there is a rumor going around that you're stoned. Your people have never seen you so relaxed.”

He joins in the laughter. “No. Just feeling good.”

“So the date with Derek went well?” Matt looks actually enthusiastic and Stiles can't help but smile at him. He's a good guy.

“Ahh, no. He canceled and I went out with Lydia. We ended up having a really great night.” His smile goes a little tight but he keeps his voice happy. 

“Fuck. That sucks man. What happened?” Matt turns from happy to upset quickly.

“He spent the night taking care of Jackson. Apparently Lydia dumping him made him sad.” He tells the blond. 

“That really sucks. Dinner tonight then? My treat. Cheer you up a bit.” Stiles is impressed that he sounds completely sincere. 

“Sure. I'm going to the gun range with my dad after work so how about 8?” He suggests. 

“Deal. The Italian place on 5th?” Matt bites his lower lip and Stiles nods. “See you then.”

The rest of the day flies by and Stiles meets his dad after work. “Hey old man. Ready to get your ass kicked?”

“Bring it on child.” His dad pulls him into a hug like they haven't seen each other in days instead of hours. Habit from high school. “You carrying your gun on you?”

“I have a carry permit.” He had been carrying it since Argent had told him that Derek's new alpha buddy was from a questionable background. He might not be on Lydia Martin levels but he's not an idiot. 

They put on the ear covers and get to target practice. He feels a stillness as he looks down the range. The outline on the target becomes a werewolf, vampire, zombie, assassin or other creature of the week from his life. He looks down the range and sees a threat. He squeeze the trigger. Not pulls but a slight squeeze. He does this over and over until his clip is empty. He shakes himself and turns to his dad who has finished as well. They put the buttons that bring the targets closed so they can see. His dad did well. All in the smaller circles around the chest. He has one center mast shot and the rest all in the head. 

“Little over kill don't you think, son?” His dad has a proud smile on his face. 

“What? You don't get up from a head shot.” He defends himself. He remembers some things getting back up after he had unloaded a full clip in their chests. His dad just rolls his head and they get back to practice. They do targeted shots trying to beat each other hitting different parts of the outlines. It's good to be hanging out with his dad. And he's mildly impressed with himself when he's able to a pull from his hip and aim to the side and still get a direct head shot. His history was littered with times he didn't have time to properly aim. Nothing improves your shot like having your life be in danger.

The time flies by and he is hugging his dad goodbye in the parking lot. He pats the cruiser as his dad pulls away. Waving at the car he he walks to his jeep. He gets an odd feeling as the hair on the back of his neck sticks up. Looking around he moves so he can scan all around him. It's darker under the trees beyond the parking lot but he can't see any signs of danger. He gets into his car and quickly drives out. He doesn't feel comfortable until he's in a more populated part of town. Pulling into the Italian cafe he can't hide his smile at how charming it looks. Heading in he looks around at sees the broad shoulders of Matt already seated facing away from the front door. Even after years of peace from hard fought victories he's still not comfortable with face away from where people come into a room. Too risky. Hmm, he wonders if Matt has picked the up from all the times they've hung out. 

Moving through the room quickly he decides to be forward and instead of just sitting down at the table lays his hand on Matt's shoulder. Gently squeezing the impressive muscle. “Hey man.”

Matt lives in a kinder world then Stiles. He doesn't react in surprise. “Stiles. Hey. Sorry I didn't wait for you. The hostess told me they were about to get a huge rush soon so I thought I would grab a table.”

“That's great. I'm starved. This is much better then having to wait.” He moves around and sits. The whole restaurant is in his view now. “I hope you didn't wait long.”

“Nope. I just got here. How was the range with your dad?” Matt asks. His eyes are open and blue. God the man is handsome.

“It was great. I feel bad. I moved back here after college to spend more time with him but I really feel like I don't get enough of it with him. I really need to make more time for him.” He cheers with Matt when their drinks are brought. 

“I get it. I'm from a huge family so I miss them all the time. But I definitely needed to get away for a few years after college to see what I am without them.” Matt smiles sheepishly. “So how is Lydia handling the break up?”

“Lydia is handling it. She made a choice and moved forward. She's great. I know her. She won't show weakness in front of anyone but I am sure she has a playlist of their favorite songs and ugly cries to is when no one is looking.” He smirks. He could see her doing that then going to work looking flawless.

“Sounds healthy.” Matt laughs. 

Stiles joins in the laughter and they order food. They don't really talk about anything serious and the whole night is just a wonderful level of enjoyment. That is quickly make awkward when Allison and Scott walk in on what appears to be a date. Stiles gives into the awkward and leaves closer to Matt. “Don't look know but my old buddy Scott just walked in with his girlfriend. I hope he'll keep his cool but he might start a scene.”

Matt's eyes shine with laughter. “Scott's the one that you hung out with in high school a lot but really haven't hung out with much since you've been back, right?”

“Gold star for you. Yeah, we hung out when I was with Derek but as that went bad all the other friendships when bad. Ah, well. How's the house hunting going? I feel bad but I haven't been able to hang out with Emily lately so I haven't gotten an update.” He decides to change the topic away from Derek.

“It's good. I can't seem to find a house that's the right size. Most of the ones I've seen are a bit too big. I don't want to have to clean a huge house every week.” Matt rolls his eyes. 

Stiles actually points at him. “Yes, cleaning a huge house by yourself is so damn annoying. Living room, dining room. Kitchen. All of it is soo much work. When it's only one person it doesn't get too bad.”

He can't help but glance at Scott out of the corner of his eyes and the wolf is frowning into his meal. God the boy could pout. It was the major reason it was so hard to stay angry at him. He always looked so hurt even if it didn't change his behavior. Matt reaches up and grabs his hand that's still pointing at him. “Well, I would never clean up after my boyfriends friends. So I wouldn't know.”

His tone is teasing so Stiles just laughs and rolls his eyes again. “Fine. I liked having a clean house, sue me.”

They continue chatting and Matt doesn't let go of his hand. It feels oddly natural to be holding hands. Scott glares the whole time. Stiles is enough of an ass to feel a slight bit of satisfaction at pissing off Scott. But he mostly doesn't even react to it. Matt is talking about the house he wants and even agrees when Stiles offers suggestions. “Emily is getting annoyed with me, I think. But we'll find something I like soon. Or she'll start beating the crap out of me.”

They both laugh at the idea and Stiles pays the check. They walk out and Stiles doesn't even look to see if Scott is watching them. He calls that progress. He walks Matt to his car and they still are holding hands. They stare at each other for a few seconds then Matt leans in and presses his lips to Stiles'. He pulls Matt closer and kisses back. They part and Stiles smiles like an idiot. “Good night, Stiles.”

Stiles keeps smiling until Matt is driving away. He walks to his jeep and feels his good mood evaporate as he feels someone watching him again. Looking around he scans the dark corners of the parking lot but can't see anyone. He hops into his jeep and drives off wondering if he's going to have to start carrying his gun all the time. It's better to be safe then sorry in Beacon Hills.


End file.
